Maybe You Should Pray…

FFC image Maybe its time to Pray

One September morning in the year of 2002, I suffered a great tragedy in my life.  I lost my mother.  My mother was more to me than a parent, she was my best friend.  I can remember throughout my childhood how she loved and protected me. If I wanted something in life and didn’t know how to get it, I would go to her.  If she could not tell me how to go about getting it, most times she would get it for me.  I guess you’re thinking I was spoiled? I was!!! It was not a rotten spoiled. It was a loving spoiled.  Although I pretty much got what I wanted, I still recognized the boundaries and dared not to cross them.  You see my mother was an anointed and powerful woman of God! She was God’s prophet. When she spoke, you can rest assured that I listened and always tried to obey. This woman taught me many things.

Of the many things, there is one thing I will never forget. I’ll never forget the power of prayer!  My mother lived a life of prayer. She would wake up praying.  She would pray while she was going about her daily routines.  She would go to bed praying.  I never really understood why she would pray and talk to God so much.  However; now that I am older and much more mature, I completely understand why she prayed the way she did.  Prayer is direct communication with God. It is through prayer that we build our relationship with Christ, Holy Spirit, and God. In other words, we have to talk to Him daily.  There has to be a dialogue. The more you communicate with Him, the more intimate your relationship with him becomes.  My mother had built a close, intimate relationship with God.  I now understand how she was able to continue with life, even when life was seemingly winning. It was prayer that helped her through and it is prayer that can help you through.  What am I saying? I am saying that God is waiting on you to make the first move. Reach out to Him!  Talk to Him! Spend time with Him! PRAY!!!! Stop worrying so much and pray.  Philippians 4:6 tells us; to be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be made known unto God.  In other words, pray about everything and worry about nothing.  Your prayers are powerful.  Your prayers can move mountains or obstacles in your life (Matthew 17:20).

Do yourself a favor and start praying.  God wants to be included in every aspect of your life. He wants to be included in your marriage, with your children, on your job, in your health, in your relationships, etc. He just wants you.  So start today and do as my mother taught me; PRAY!!!

The Desire of My Eyes!!!

FFC image The Desire of My Eyes

I have been married now for 14 years.  When my wife and I first met, I was fresh out of the military and still firmly fit.  I must admit after a few years I noticed significant weight gain.  However, as long as my wife did not complain I remained the same.  A part of me was saying; “as long as she don’t say anything, I guess I’m okay.” I would also say things to myself;  such as; “well if she wants me to lose weight and buff up, she will say something.” Does this sound familiar to you?  If it does, let me be the first one to tell you; WRONG ANSWER!  No matter whether your spouse tell your or not, it is important to maintain a good physical appearance.  Not only should you do this for your spouse, but you should want this for yourself.  I believe that many relationships fail due to a lack of attraction for each other.  I have counseled many couples where the husbands especially, say that they’re no longer attracted to their wives. The lack of attraction most times is due to a significant weight gain, unkempt dressing, constant bad hair days, etc. We all understand that in some instances, things just happen.  Such as  uncontrollable weight gain during and after pregnancies, certain health problems, or even a season of depression.  In these instances it’s understandable. However, if things are within your control and your are just sitting back letting yourself go; you are WRONG! Think about it, the first thing that drew your spouse to you was your physical attraction.  He or she could have been attracted to your walk, your talk, the way you dressed, your shape, the way you wore your hair, your muscular physique, and or your beautiful  spirit.

Realistically, no one is going to remain the same.  No matter what, things will always fluctuate.  Whatever the case may be, I challenge you to evaluate your appearance.  Go on a “fitness bout!” Go shopping for some new clothes. Get a new hair do, slim down, or buff up. Whatever you have to do, just do it.  Make your spouse desire you and want you as much as they did when they first laid eyes on you.  It may be a good idea to include them in on your ordeal; you know, so they won’t think that you are cheating (another story).  Let them know that you have been slacking when it comes to your physical appearance and that you are striving to improve at it.  Tell them how much you want to make them proud to be your husband or wife. Believe it or not, there was a time where your spouse couldn’t wait to get you back in their arms again!  The sex and everything else was just crazy! What happened?  Maybe it is the attraction factor.  Its time to get it back. Get your spouses eyes back on you and only you!

Faith, Family, Friends & Fun

FFC image Faith Family Friends and Fun

God has blessed me to have such an awesome family.  Just to think about the many blessings he has bestowed upon us is actually overwhelming sometimes.  From the time that my girls were babies up to now, I have to admit that I have enjoyed being a family man.  We are always doing something together. It doesn’t have to be “BIG” all the time. To admit, most time we are doing little things such as; riding around site-seeing (some call it; being nosey), going to the mall, getting a bite to eat, sitting outside enjoying the night air, catching a movie, or just sitting at home getting on each others nerves. Oh yes; we do that very well.  Life was designed by God in that we would first have a relationship with him (Faith) and then build a relationship with our (Family) and others (Friends).  While we are developing these relationships we make it our business to have (FUN)!  There is nothing like a family that first loves God, then is willing to go all out having fun while sharing their lives with others.  For those of you that have families; you should cherish it. For their are many individuals who go through life looking for the family oriented lifestyle and never find it. I am constantly praying for these individuals that God will somehow fulfill their emptiness.  But for you all that have families; find time to have fun together.  Stop spending all your time alone doing what you want to do as if you are single. Stop let things such as your job, people, bills, or even yourself hinder you from spending good quality time with your family.  You only live once.  Because we have no idea what turns life may take, it would be wise to start investing good quality time in your family.  That’s right; Faith, Family, Friends & Fun!!! What a wonderful combination.  Get on board and start living the life!

How Can Two Walk Together Except…

FFC image Couple in Agreement

I have always had a passion for marriages.  Because God honors marriage, we too should honor marriage.  Marriage is not something to be taken lightly.  It is serious business!  When two people come together and pronounce marriage vows before the Lord and before a people, immediately a lifetime covenant becomes established until death separates them.  This means that the two parties are agreeing that no matter what comes to attack or penetrate their marriage or how good or sour things may be, they will continue to walk in this covenant till death parts them.  Realistically, most times this is not going to be the case. For some, when things get tough, they easily call it quits.  But for the parties who are willing to have a successful marriage, there are certain things that you have to include. One thing is you have to find a way to walk together in agreement.  The bible states in Amos 3:3; “how can two walk together except they be agreed?”  This scripture presents an answer within a question.  It is saying that two must be in agreement in order to walk together and be successful together.  Well how can this be being that we are two separate individuals having two separate minds with two separate thoughts and ideas?  I’m glad you asked.  From the Christian perspective; we know that God must be the overall foundation of each individual’s life. Without the belief and establishment of Christ, the marriage is lost before it merely begins. One most powerful way to ensure that the two walk in agreement is to include prayer time TOGETHER.  Having your individual time with God is great.  However, the two must come TOGETHER in that their prayers will be on the same accord.  You have to know that two is better than one (eccl. 4:9) and together with Christ you can conquer all obstacles and attacks on your marriage (Eccl. 4:12 “a threefold cord is not easily broken”). If you allow God to be involved in your marriage He will help you to walk in agreement.  Matt. 18:19 tells us that if the two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing they shall ask, it shall be done for them…

Remember that one can not walk alone in the marriage and expect successful things to happen for the marriage.  I know there are a number of other things that can be used to bring on agreement, however; THIS I BELIEVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, and that is PRAYER TOGETHER AS ONE! I am a living witness that this is some good stuff! It actually works! So go ahead. Grab your wife’s hand and pray. Try it. It might just bring your marriage into the agreement you have been waiting for…

Submission in the Marriage…

FFC image Submission in Marriage

I have been married for 14 years come November 27th of this year.  I love my wife and I love my marriage. However, it has not always been “smooth sailing.”  In other words, it has not always been easy.  Marriage is work!  It will only work if the two individuals put in work.  I must say that my wife and I each give 100 percent plus to ensure that our marriage is successful.  It may sound like a lot but its actually not.  Along with our Christian faith, we discovered a technique that makes being married easy. This technique is nothing new.  It has actually always been available.  It is called “submission.”  You see, in order for a marriage to be successful, both people have to be willing to submit to one another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21).  It is not just one person submitting, but both.  Well what is submission?  Submission is not just doing for one another.  It is actually doing for one another what you really don’t want to but… you do it because it is the right thing to do.  The bible teaches us many things.  One of the most profound things that it teaches is the power of submission.  If we submit first to God, then to our marriage, and even to certain situations, we will find out that not only will our marriage become better, but life in general will become better.  Don’t get me wrong.  Submission is not an easy thing to do.  However, it is attainable.  Start today and make submission in your marriage  your will.  Decide that you are going to submit.  After all, what do you have to lose, besides your marriage… Selah.

Could My Spouse Be Cheating???

blaming

Are you involved in a marriage where you are constantly thinking your spouse may be cheating?  If you are, there are several things to look for.  I ran across this article on huffingtonpost.com written by Kiri Blakeley (CafeMom’s blog, The Stir).  These signs, better known as “red flags,” are normally present if a spouse is cheating.  Take a look… better yet, share this with your spouse!

1. He starts dressing better. According to divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, this is still a sign you should look out for. Did he suddenly morph from flannel and dirty boots to smart suits and shiny loafers? I’d add in wearing cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new. Could be a sign the mistress gave him a bottle that she likes better.

2. Guarding the cellphone. This is one I’ve heard a lot in my girlfriend circles — he suddenly starts sleeping with the cellphone by his bedside, or bringing it into the shower with him. He may turn it off when you’re together and say he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s with you — but he really doesn’t want to risk her texting or calling while you’re there. If he won’t even let you touch his phone, something’ up.

3. Password protecting everything. In this day and age, its prudent to password protect your phone, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Or he refuses to give you the password.

4. He takes out new credit cards in his name. According to Stowe, this is a sign that he’s spending money on the new flame — especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only.

5. He begins making hurtful remarks about you. Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy — this way if he ever gets caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting!

6. He begins to drop a female name into his conversations. I’ve heard this one before, that a guy having an affair will start bringing up a certain woman all of the time. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it. I’d also add avoiding talking about a certain woman — say he starts working on a project with a woman but he NEVER mentions her. That’s weird if he’s spending a lot of time with her.

7. Talking about how “ugly” or “horrible” a certain woman is. This is one I’ve seen a few times — a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.

8. He suggests separate holidays. According to Stowe, this is a clear sign he wants you out of town.

9. Doesn’t want sex. He may not reject you, but he’ll go along with your rejections where he may have previously fought them. Now it’s like, “Sure, let’s watch a movie instead. Noooo problem.”

10. Social media. I’m simply amazed at how many men forget that their wife or girlfriend is on their Facebook and yet they will flirt or even “check in” with another woman also on his Facebook. Must think women are blind!