Financial Infidelity!!!!

money 2

I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

Financial Infidelity!!!

money 2

I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

Happy Father’s Day!!!

hfd1

June is the month that we celebrate hopefully the first significant men in our lives…..Yep, our fathers. Sadly, in this day and age, many individuals biological dads are not the first significant men in their lives. Often kids are born when the parents are still very young and young men, okay boys at this age are not equipped to see the bigger picture. The child that is easily influenced. So some men, not all but some take the easy road and become “the sperm donor” in their children’s lives.  For the men out there who are struggling to make sure their kids are taken care of….kudos to you. I have often heard the saying any man can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father. To all the real men out there….thank you for your time, money, guidance and most importantly love. Although, it make not always be visible…..you are loved beyond measure.  My daughter absolutely adores her dad and I am so glad, I married a man who holds family values in high regards. He may not always get it right but he is present and he makes an effort.  That is all any of us can do. For all the men doing their part…..keep up the amazing work. For the men out there who have fallen short…..it is never to late to start being the wonderful father I know you can be.

 

 

What Makes a Dad
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it … Dad
Author Unknown

 

Happy Father’s Day!!!

The Good Ole Days!!!

scale

Who remembers “the good ole days?” I admit that I am not old enough to have lived during the good ole days era. One of the current presidential candidates keeps referring to “the good ole days.” How he would like for things to be as they were during the good ole days. Who is the candidate? I am quite sure you all already know but for those of you not up to date on current events….it is none other the republican hopeful Donald Trump.  Now, there are several things that Trump says and does that give me pause and great concern but his rallying for the good ole days is over the top in my opinion. First, he accepts funding from a former red dragon of the white supremacists group the KKK, David Duke. And then he goes on the record supporting returning to the good ole days. Although, I am unsure if Trump thinks about things before he speaks….you have to wonder why would a presidential candidate go on record supporting racism? Is it for the extra publicity time or does he just not know any better? He is a P.R. person’s worst nightmare.   I do not think there is one minority that considers the good ole days….good! During the 1950’s and 1960’s (the good ole days era) minorities had little to no rights. Basically, the majority were satisfied because minorities “knew their place”……and if they forgot, there was a tree close enough for the hanging.  During this time African Americans had to fight for the right to vote, to sit in a restaurant with white people….. and let’s not forget education or drinking out of a public water fountain. None of things suggest good ole days to me and I most definitely do not wish to return to the way things were during this time. It was not just African Americans, that were negatively impacted by this era but the lgbt community as well.  By all means vote for who you think is the best candidate for president….not for the person in the limelight. I personally have no desire to vote for someone who has shown me they are a racist.

Who’s The Parent?

5 ways to provoke your children

Recent events have caused me to question who is the parent in certain situations. A week ago I encountered a mother and her son at the grocery store. The son could not have been more than 8 years old if that.  He wanted his mother to buy him something and I am assuming she said no. As I turned onto the isle, the little boy began to throw a fit. Yelling things like “I want it…..I want it!” The little boy was so frustrated he laid out in the floor on his side and screamed as he twirled his body around in a circle (sort of like something you would see on a sitcom). The mother tried reasoning with her son. The more she tried the louder he got. Clearly, embarrassed by the situation she tried to lift her son off the floor and he resisted with every attempt. So then the mother begins to slowly walk off. Her son quietly sits up and watches her. When she left the cart to go get something off a shelf, the little boy runs to the shopping cart and uses the shopping cart to charge his mother. Wham! He rams the shopping cart into his mother. The mother yells for him to stop. The son backs up and rams his mother with the shopping cart once again. The son gears up to ram his mother a third time but the mother grabs the cart. She goes back down the isle where her son’s tantrum began grabbed something off the shelf and yells “happy now!”  I on the other hand was having a WTH moment. I sooooo wanted to say something but instead I just watched the scene play out.  If you know me this was an extremely difficult task for me. In what alternate universe is it okay to ram your mother with a shopping cart, not once but twice? The even bigger question, what realm do you live in that you cave to the demands of an eight year old. At some point kids are going to be disappointed. We as parents are not able to cater to their every whim. Well, some of us may be able to. But monetary gifts do not make for a productive citizen. Reinforcing negative behavior reinforces negative behavior.