Sex: The New Trend In Women

Couple Intimacy

The ladies at my counseling office have noticed a new trend of women cheating just as much, if not more, than men. There are a few questions that run through my mind when I her this. Why is this happening? Is this really a new trend or are women just more open about it? As we all know there has been a women’s sexual liberation movement and women no longer have to have sensual appeal as long as they have sex appeal. There was once a time when women were admonished to always be a lady and leave something to the imagination. This is no longer the case I wonder is this the reason why more cheating from women is taking place. Some might argue that women have always cheated. If men were cheating, they had to be cheating with someone; women have just become more open with the admission of cheating… but why. Is this a liberal movement saying that women can be just as sexual as men or is it an excuse to be wild? According to the Huffpost, 8.8 years is the average length of an American marriage.

This is a horrible statistic. This means that marriages are barely making it past the ‘7-year itch’. Could this be because of infidelity? This could be a valid argument if the cheating/infidelity was only happening in marriages, but it is not. The reality though, is that women in general are having more sex and more likely to cheat. This is whether they are single and have multiple partners, whether they are in a committed relationship, or whether they are married. Honestly women are naturally sexual beings. We have been conditioned to suppress it a let the man pursue us. This may be a reason as well. Maybe women are just more able to be themselves in this day and time and as a result are more open with their sexuality. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that women are liberated and more in tune with their sexuality

Super Bowl Victims

super bowl victims

Super Bowl is right around the corner!  It is being called the old school (Denver Broncos) versus new school (Carolina Panthers) football matchup.  Super Bowl is the time where most of us spend hours rooting for our favorite team with family and/or friends over food, drinks and TV.    However, not everyone will be celebrating.  Would you believe me if I was to say there are Super Bowl victims?

What a lot of individuals do not know is the dark side of Super Bowl: an increase within the sex industry.  While the football teams draw in large crowds, there are those that are flocking to the trading of women.  The peak of sex trafficking occurs during Super Bowl, where an influx of CHILDREN and women are shipped in for sex trade.  Houses will turn into brothels, there will be pimps and prostitutes readily available, along with $32 BILLION in revenue!

These facts come from an article from The Christian Chronicle in 2011 from the Super Bowl that was held in Dallas, Texas.  I can only image the numbers have increased within the past 5 years.  Numbers are important, nevertheless, the people are more important.  We’re talking about daughters, wives, sisters, aunts, nieces, neighbors, friends… they are all human beings with worth.  A worth that should NOT have a price attached to them, thus they do.

So, I encourage each of us to remember the price of Super Bowl – beyond tailgating in the parking lot before the game, the outrageous price of a ticket in the nose bleed section, the glamorous half-time show and the celebratory aftermath of your team winning – instead, those that may not have a choice or a voice of exiting the crude industry.  If you are looking to make a difference by assisting those in the sex industry escape the demeaning lifestyle, contact your local charities and churches in your city.  For Dallas/Ft. Worth area we have:

World Relief http://worldrelief.org/fortworth/humantrafficking

Children at Risk http://childrenatrisk.org/content/

Human Rights Initiative http://www.hrionline.org/

Mosaic Family Services, Inc. http://mosaicservices.org/

New Friends New Life http://www.newfriendsnewlife.org/

The Friends of Letot http://letotgirlscenter.org/

You Can Free Us http://www.youcanfree.us/

Child Pornography

What is Your Diagnosis?

I recently read an article about Jared from Subway and his case about child pornography. It caused me to think a little. At first I was in denial and I just did not want to believe that the ‘Subway Guy’ could do such a thing. Immediately after though , I was disgusted and wanted him to be punished. After I finished reading the article and calming my emotions down I discovered that the real question is whether or not child pornography is a sickness or a choice. Even with the strides that have been taken, mental health is still pretty much a taboo subject. On the other hand though, people are quick to use the insanity plea and any other mental health cop out that they can and because of that people are weary to believe there is an issue when there really is one. But back to Jared….as I was reading the article it said that Jared was attracted to girls 16 and 17 from the time he was 15 and it just never progressed to older women. It can be any young girl, from what I understood from the article. He even had cameras in his own children’s rooms. What can be said about that? Is he an adult pervert or is there something mentally deeper that is causing him to be attracted to young girls? Jared took a plea deal and is headed to the federal prison for 15 years. The question in mind though is should he be in prison or should he be in some sort of therapy and rehab (he also has an alcohol addiction)?

Abstinence or Contraceptives

Couple IntimacySitting in my house on Friday enjoying the cool weather I was watching a movie on Lifetime called The Pregnancy Pact. It was about a small town that was going through a pregnancy epidemic. At a particular school, a group of 5 friends had made a pact to become pregnant at the same time. Now while under age sex and premarital sex are subjects within themselves, that is not what this blog is about. But I digress… these young ladies were in love with being in love. For most of them it was their first love and they believed that it would be wonderful to have their kids grow up together. On the outside looking in these girls would be called promiscuous or sluts. At face value maybe they were, but in context of the movie they were just young girls with ambitions of families and children.

The school nurse wanted to pass out contraception and incorporate a sex education class, but the school board disagreed and said sex is a subject for the household. With all of that being said I ask the question should children be taught the message of abstinence or should they be taught about sex and who should teach it? I personally think it should be a collaborate effort. Abstinence should be taught but realistically we cannot expect every child to refrain from sex and therefore sex education should be taught and contraceptives available. In the old days the saying ‘it takes a village’ held true. Children were raised by a triple threat- the home, school, and church. We have strayed away from this notion. Children are very impressionable and unless everyone in their environment is on the same page the message will become void. I felt sorry for the young ladies in the movie. They had been beaten down with the message of abstinence with no other options and as a result they were setting themselves up for a lifetime of heartache.

Consensual Sex

Consensual Sex

Let’s talk about sex.

According to Merriam-Webster, sex is defined as a physical activity in which people touch each other’s bodies, kiss each other, etc. : physical activity that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sex).

Sex falls on a spectrum that ranges from intimacy: the act between two committed and consensual individuals, to rape: the act of an individual dominating power and control over the other without consensus.  Making whoopee (as The Honeymoon Game show would say) with your spouse is supposed to be fun, enlightening, sensual, and spiritual.  That is if both are in agreement of the physical activity.  When one person declines the offer, however, the other should respect his/her request.  Sometimes, that request is violated.

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) reported alarming statistics of how often sexual assault occurs in the United States.  Within a given year, there are 293,066 sexual assault victims.  That means every 107 seconds there is a reported victim of sexual assault!  It is heartbreaking to know that there is about 14 victims in a single day!  If you are thinking that there is no such thing as rape within a marriage, think again.  Rape, whether it be within a marriage or dating, is associated with assault and battery charges.

So, why is it so hard for some individuals to accept the two letter, simple word “NO” when it comes to sex?  Let me assist by showing this short clip of the importance in respecting your partner’s request.

Warning: there are a few f-bombs in the beginning of the clip.

The Elephant in Your Relationship

TheElephantInYourRelationship

Is there an elephant in your relationship?  You’ve noticed an agonizing difference between the two of you that is the size of an elephant!  Maybe you know what the elephant is but you don’t know how to fix it.  Perhaps you don’t know what the elephant is but you want to fix it.  The elephant can become bigger and bigger if not addressed, creating more and more distance between you and your love.  No matter what color your elephant is – sex, infidelity, children, intimacy, communication, trust, finances – we can help you kick out the elephant in your relationship.  Come see us!