Police Abuse: Here We Go Again!!!

Spirit of Fear

This past week another police officer in South Carolina….in my opinion abused his power. He slams a teenage African-American female student because she refused to put her cellphone away and spit her gum out when asked to do so by her teacher.  When is enough…enough!!! This type of brutality is the current norm and should not be accepted by anyone. Perhaps, this type of abuse also occurs with other ethnic groups  but from what I can see…it seems to be specifically geared towards the African-American population.  Black Lives Matter…..what steps need to take place so we are all treated humane.  View the video and let me know what you think…appropriate or inappropriate?



A Dream Deferred!!!

Have you ever planned for something and/or envisioned something only to find obstacle after obstacle hindering you from achieving the ultimate end result? I recently encountered such an issue…the light at the end of the tunnel was very dim. Despite it all I continued to have faith and hope that I would eventually accomplish my goal if it was in God’s plan. What I anticipated on take 8 weeks max, turned into almost 8 months. I continued to pray and ask God for guidance. I began to ponder if I was indeed following the path God has for me or if I had ventured off in the wrong direction. I will say that prayer changes things. After affirming my path…..I became persistent and used connections I had to help achieve my desired outcome.  I am now in phase 2 of this dream because I refused to let it die…..I believe the words of Langston Hughes say it best:




What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over—

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?




Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Which will you choose?

Love letter

Love letter

This week I would like you to shower yourself with love. Start off by writing a love letter to yourself. Next call your voicemail and read that love letter to yourself. Lastly, call your voicemail and listen to the message you left yourself. Save that message so that you can listen to it anytime you need to remind yourself why you are important and why you love yourself. If you are stuck and cannot find positive words  to write to yourself give us a call. We have very flexible scheduling and rates.

Vernesa Perry

Don’t say YES when you want to say NO

Don’t say YES when you want to say NO

If you are a person that wants to be “nice” and “not cause problems”, but you suffer in silence and believe that nothing can be done to change the situation you need to read further. Learning how to be assertive can help you overcome fear, shyness, passivity, and even anger. Asserting yourself involves advocating for yourself in a positive, honest, and respectful way. Assertiveness means that you are communicating in a clear, direct, and honest way about your needs, opinions, and feelings. Being assertive will help you improve your relationships, relieve stress, make you more confident, and less resentful.

Here are ways to start being assertive: When you start using the below techniques it’s important to start small so that you do not overwhelm yourself.

  1. The best way to start using effective assertive language is to use “I” statements to express what you are thinking and feeling. So for an example, instead of saying, “You are mean to me!” you can say, “I feel hurt when you call me stupid.”
  2. Rehearse what you want to say and be clear in what you want. Those around you are not mind readers.
  3. Practice saying no.
  4. Express yourself in a calm manner. Take deep breaths if you need to.
  5. Don’t apologize or feel ashamed or guilty for expressing a need or want.
  6. Use confident body language and tone. Best way to do this is by practicing in front of your mirror.

Assertiveness takes time but be persistent with your efforts and you will see the pay off.

50 Shades of Porn

50 Shades of Porn

Every woman feels lust. That’s a good thing, because it keeps us wanting to be closer to our mates. But when we take that lust and channel it into voyeuristic, distorted and downright unhealthy ways, we end up emotionally dull and even depressed. I have never heard a woman who has read pornography say that it enhanced her life. Not one. But I have listened to many parents (mothers and fathers) who have felt the intense pain of emotional and family destruction because of it. Don’t fool yourself, it’s powerful stuff. And the place that it takes you is nowhere good. I can guarantee that (Dr. Meg Meeker on 50 Shades of Gray).

We are living in a time when we need strong women to stand up for what is good and right for ourselves and for our children. Doing this requires that we exercise self control and live a life of discipline. Every one of us feels lust, but we need to respect it and make sure that it goes in a healthy direction, not a destructive one (Dr. Meg Meeker on 50 Shades of Gray).

Let’s be honest ladies. 50 Shades of Gray is porn for women! In addition to that, it is centered on violence. This book honors and glorifies bondage. It glorifies dominance and sadism. It honors masochism. Masochism is deriving pleasure from one’s own pain or humiliation. If you were to come across your husband watching porn on the internet would you be upset? Them watching porn online is the same thing as you reading 50 Shades of Gray. Let me explain. Men need visuals, women need romance that appeal to their minds like 50 Shades of Gray.

This book carries so much falsehood. After reading such books women expect to get affection from their husbands the way it’s made up in these books. It can break your marriage because a book like this can take your physical desire away from your husband. You get entangled finding pleasure in something other then your spouse.

So if you are entangled in this pornography how do you get out of it? Start by identifying triggers that make you vulnerable. When you recognize these triggers find healthy ways to meet those longings. You have to limit your access to your sources of temptation as well. Get rid of 50 Shades of Gray. Get rid of movies that you know are wrong for you to watch. Set up an accountability partner that can help you stay accountable. Overcome your addiction to porn or erotica by getting help. If you are feeling a mixture of denial, judgment, fear, and guilt, give us a call. That’s what we are here for.




You are so stupid! How dumb can you be? Wow, you are so fat! Look at all those zits on your face! As you stare in the mirror and remember those awfully mean words that were spoken over you years ago, you realize they are still staring you straight in the face. Do you find yourself overly compensating those specific areas in your life because you have started to believe all of those toxic words?

Words carry such enormous weight and can impact people for decades. Negative words can damage you if you allow them to. The Bible tells us that reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).  We can break those toxic words out of our lives by separating the truths from the lies. Try writing all the truths about you on one set of index cards and the negative lies on another set. Look in the mirror and speak those truths over you. Say, “I am beautiful, I am smart!”

Get scriptures that coordinate with what God’s word says about you and speak those things over yourself. For example, Psalm 139:14-16 says, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them”. When these scriptures are repeated over and over  the truth of God’s Word will start to sink deep into your heart which will change you deep within. And those negative index cards; rip them up and rebuke those thoughts because they are not of God. God has great plans for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.