Do you love your child just the way they are? Are you a parent that builds their child up or is breaking their child down? Building your child up can be difficult if your parents did not model that for you. A lot of the times we will do what we saw our parents do. If you are finding yourself breaking your child’s spirit I want to urge you to give us a call. Every parent wants the best for their children, but if we don’t have the skills and the knowledge to provide positive parenting we can end up hurting our child in the end.
Here is an example that you can think about: you son spills his dinner drink almost every night. How do your respond? Do you yell, “You can’t get anything right! You are always making a mess! What is wrong with you?! Or do you say, “Everyone makes mistakes. Grab a rag and clean up”. Do you see the difference? One will tear a child down and make them feel like an invisible person while the other builds them up and lets them know that you love them just the way they are. If you feel that you fall in the first category please give me a call. I know it can be embarrassing, but we are not here to judge your situation but to help you! We offer a free 30 minute face to face consultation to see if we would be a good fit.
Recently I learned about four parenting styles. I want to share them with you so you can reflect on how your parenting approach may be contributing to the problem of getting your child to obey. First I want to start off with the permissive parent. If you fit in the category you are a parent that offers lots of love but not much discipline. This can cause your child to have very low self esteem. When there are no boundaries your child feel inferior and insecure. Your child will feel loved but they are unsure of their limits.
The neglectful parent is the worst of all four. This type of parent does not offer much love or discipline leading the child to grow up with deep emotional scars. The authoritarian parent does not express much love but is very big on discipline. Children to these parents grow up rebellious. The last parenting style is the authoritative parent. This type of style provides the best combination of love and discipline. Their boundaries are clear and they are also very loving. This child grows up with great self-esteem and has great coping skill.
Where do you fit with these parenting styles? If you find yourself in one that you are not proud of please give us a call. We would love to work with you and your family to get you learn how to be an authoritative parent.