1st Love 1st Hero





Fathers make all the difference in the world. They are so important in their children’s lives. As a dad you are chosen for a very special assignment.  Leadership from a father has tremendous positive effects like better school performance and better self-confidence. Kids learn by watching their dads. Do not allow work pressures or other commitments to take you away from your children. Make the time because it is so important.

Neglecting your role as a father has damaging consequences and produces spiritual damage. There is a reason that scriptures warn fathers not to exasperate their children in Ephesians 6:4. Another version says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”.  In addition, scriptures warn father not to embitter their children either in Colossians 3:21. Do not provoke or aggravate your children because this will cause them to get discouraged. Take a moment and reflect on your relationship with your father. What did you need from him that he gave you? What about something that you needed but never received? How did his positive input help you succeed? What about the flip side of that? Answering these questions might reveal some truths for you.

Remember that you are chosen! You are chosen to be the ordinary dad who can alter history by loving your children and guiding them to put God first in their lives as you raise them. If you have struggled in the past with issues because of your own experiences with your father I highly recommend reading Kingdom Man by Tony Evans. Another great author is Kevin Leman who wrote What a Difference a Daddy Makes and Be the Dad She Needs You to Be.


Calling all godly men

I listened to this message by Pastor Paul Washer and wanted to share it with you. It will challenge you to rethink why you are married and to reflect if your actions are glorifying God. Please comment what you were challenged with.

Honoring Fathers

father and child

Father’s Day is coming up. Our society, it seems, has a love-hate relationship with fathers. Lately the trend in many ways has been to discount, demean, and diminish the role of fatherhood. While it is true that some dads are “dead beats,” some are abusive, and some are portrayed on sitcoms and commercials as idiots, a good father has infinite value.

A good father teaches his children the dignity of womanhood and the importance of manhood. He is kind and respectful to his wife and his children. He offers support in many ways–emotional, financial, physical. He is not perfect, but he values his role as a father and values his family.

A father’s presence in the lives of his children has a dramatic effect in all areas of their lives: self-esteem, good grades, moral choices, drug use, college attendance, and more. The presence of a GOOD father has effects that cannot be measured, nor underestimated.

Many of us have fathers who were not perfect. My own father both very good in some ways, and not very good in other ways. This was something I had to come to terms with. I went to a counselor for about a year, and now I am able to accept both the good and the bad in my dad and have a good relationship with him.

Some of us struggle to be good fathers (or mothers, in my case) to our children. It’s tough to balance all the important things in our lives and to prioritize little people’s wants with other things we need to do.

I hope that as we think about fathers and fatherhood, we will honor the good things our fathers have done for us, forgive them for their short comings, and re-commit ourselves as parents to our own children.

Gender roles – Masculine versus Feminine

gender roles

What are little boys made of?

What are little boys made of?

Slugs and snails

And puppy-dogs’ tails,

That’s what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?

What are little girls made of?

Sugar and spice

And everything nice,

That’s what little girls are made of.

What Are Little Boys Made Of?” c. 1820

I remember hearing the above nursery rhyme as a child and not thinking much about it. Now a days, this popular nursery rhyme is considered sexist and misandrist. Oh how our culture has changed over the decades!

As a girl, I did display feminine characteristics by playing with Barbie dolls, wearing my Sunday best dress to church, and messing around with Mom’s make-up. However, I also recall slamming POGS, climbing trees and wanting to be the first female in MLB (NOT softball) – masculine characteristics. My room growing up maintained neutrality by having sea-foam green walls with a seashell border… no indication of gender. My parents allowed me to discover who I am as a person, regardless of my gender.

However, not all of my friends received the gender free upbringing that I enjoyed. My girl friends had pink or purple rooms and wore more dresses/skirts than blue jeans. My boy friends had hunting decor or baseball themed rooms with GI Joe figurines as their “dolls”. As children, our parents instill a certain way how a girl and boy should be. On top of the influence we receive from our parents, media reinforces the gender biased belief system via magazines, TV shows, movies, and advertisements.

So, what does all this gender stuff have to do with anything? A lot! I hear often from parents how boys should not cry and to “man up”. If boys are taught to not show the emotion of sadness, how can they relay to their future spouse a concern? Quite often, they relay the concern through another emotion: anger. As for girls, we are told to be submissive and learn how to cook, clean and take care of children. What happens when a female decides to choose a career lifestyle over being a caregiver at home? They are viewed as abnormal and a selfish “b word”.

Being aware of our gender biases may help our thinking and future choices on how to raise children. There is nothing wrong with being gender biased or free… After all, it is a choice! Just how would you like your child to fit a particular mold?

Check out these gender roles tests to see how you view gender:

For women – http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3250

For men – http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=3249