Why Should We Get Pre-Marital Counseling?

Why Should We Get Pre-Marital Counseling

This past Friday, I attended the wedding of two good friends.

These two friends had been dating for two years, were engaged after a year and a half of dating, and had originally planned for a long engagement while the bride finished her bachelor’s degree.

The couple had entered into their engagement with the intention of completing pre-marital counseling to ensure that their decision to marry was foolproof. They thought of the counseling as a “flu shot” and as being “preventative,” which is an excellent perspective on how beneficial pre-marital counseling can be.

Unfortunately, due to a change in their original perspective, they did not finish their pre-marital counseling and moved their wedding from three years in the future to this past Friday. They confessed that they moved up their wedding because there was a fear of marriage failure if they chose to wait any longer.

They did not realize that, by giving up on their counseling, they may be setting themselves up for the failure that they are most afraid of.

The benefits of pre-marital counseling has been defined in an article I’ve found while researching this topic:
1. There would be no secrets revealed after the “I Do’s” because they would have been revealed in counseling sessions.
2. You benefit from the objective perspectives on your relationship given by the counselor.
3. If done with a pastor, plans for worship and faith are clearly defined. Your pastor will also KNOW WHO YOU ARE before the ceremony.
4. It really is a good preventative method for divorce.

Melissa Butler

Taking Control of Anxiety Before It Takes Control of You

taking control of your anxiety before it takes control of you

Everyone experiences anxiety. It happens before job interviews, meeting the parents, public speaking, deadlines, all the time. Sometimes those anxieties can get out of hand; they prevent us from taking care of the things we need to get done. They overpower our thoughts by building on top of one another, weighing down on our subconscious. Despite our best efforts to organize our lives or to make time for everything, anxieties can take all control away from us in a matter of moments.

Here are a few ways to take control of your anxiety:

Breathe, it’s the most natural thing that we know how to do. Take a minute, count to four while you breath in, than count to four while you breath out. Keep counting and breathing. Your heart rate will slow and your body will biologically calm itself.

Write it out. Sit down for 15 minutes with a piece of paper and a pen. Write out every thought that comes to your mind during that time; don’t put the pen down. Seeing your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper in front of you acts as an anchor. Once you read through what you’ve written, your anxieties become more tangible and easier to work with.

Exercise, exercise, exercise. The hormones released during exercise, such as serotonin and endorphins, act as antidepressants. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do, just as long as your body is moving. Endorphins are “happy hormones” and will elevate your mood instantly.

Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Watch a funny movie, read some really bad jokes, or think of a funny memory. Laughing can relieve psychological pain almost instantly.

Eat some good mood food. Who doesn’t enjoy comfort food when they’re upset? While it may be tempting to reach for the cookies or the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream during a freak out session, it’s actually more beneficial to eat healthy food. Studies suggest that you try a few of these super foods: nuts, soy, milk and yogurt, dark green leafies, dark orange vegetables, broth soups, legumes, citrus, wheat germ, tart cherries, and berries.

Now you don’t have to try all of these things, but they’re all helpful tricks and all of them have one thing in common: It’s all good and it’s all ok, all you have to do is take your moment.

Melissa Butler