Bullying

Change Is It Possible

Bullying has become an epidemic. It is seen in both children and adults alike. People have begun to use bullying as a way to make themselves feel better about whatever inadequacies they may have. I guess one could argue that it has always been used for this purpose, it is just more noticeable because of the internet and social media. Adults seem to be bullying more than the children, especially celebrities who should be seen as role models. It is very difficult to try and get a child to understand the consequences of bullying when that is all that they see.

Children have always had a certain level of teasing a cruelty, but once again access to computers make matters much worse. 20 years ago a child could be teased on the playground and that was that. They could escape to their home life. With the use us social media though, there is no escape. The ridicule is everywhere and can reach the entire world in a matter of seconds. The epidemic has become so bad that it has formed a new epidemic of suicide. All children are not able to cope with the mass humiliation that social media can bring. It is important that parents understand that depression and suicide are very real and that children can suffer from them just like adults. We cannot write of bullying as a childhood learning experience. I participate in a youth group at my church. In this group there is a young girl who is maturing faster than the other girls. As a result, the other girls, who are clearly jealous, tease here about her figure and call her ‘fast’. They have no proof other than the fact that she has matured faster than them and that the boys are noticing her more. I pulled the young lady to the side to try and talk to her to get a feel of how she was feeling. Her response was’ I’ll be okay I was told to toughen up and that is what I will do”. This broke my heart. Though it is important to have a thick skin this was definitely not what an adult should have told a child. What if she was not able to ‘Toughen up’ and the bullying led to something worse.

It is imperative that we come together in the fight against bullying because if we don’t our children will continue to be lost.

What A Shame!!!

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Yesterday I was watching the news and the following story caught my attention…..my first response…..What A Shame….my second response was young lives wasted lives. According to ABC news two high school students (girls) were arguing in one of the girl’s bathrooms located at Howard High School of Technology in Wilmington, Delaware early Thursday morning. Witnesses report that the argument was over a boy. Yeah, that is an entirely different blog.  Anywho,  the argument escalates into a fight. It is believed that the victim (Amy Joyner-Francis) was attacked by more than one person. The assault resulted in Amy hitting her head on a sink in the bathroom. Amy was airlifted to a local hospital where she later was pronounced dead. How tragic. You send your kids off to school in the morning with the hopes that they learn something. Hopefully, we are instilling values to produce healthy, happy, productive citizens. Yes, I once was a high school student, so I do know the foolery that does occur….seems like it was a lot simpler back in my high school days.  Most importantly, we lived!!! Yes, arguments are going to occur between kids but we have to ask ourselves, “What are we teaching our kids?” When violence is the answer to resolving a problem. What a shame this younger girl died over foolishness. What a shame that the individuals responsible are going to endure consequences they are not prepared for. What a shame there were peers watching and joining in but no one felt compelled to be the voice of reason or to go get assistance until it was to late.  As adults, as parents we have to do a better job of teaching or kids right from wrong. We have to do a better job of teaching them to live to fight another day.

 

http://abc7ny.com/news/16-year-old-girl-killed-in-high-school-assault-remembered/1302551/#videoplayer

Exercising Your Right to Vote!!!

Craziness is in the air……it could only mean one thing, election year is upon us! I have a had a few conversations with younger generations as well as a few with older generations and I was somewhat surprised with my findings. On average most of the younger generation did not know all the candidates running for president. Sure they knew the names of the current leaders but no information about their platform. As for the older generation, a few suggested that they had done their part and now it is time for the younger generation to stand up and do their part. I find both of these stances concerning and problematic for me because then I, a person who exercises her right to vote, maybe be stuck with an undesirable for four or more years.  My son, who is of the younger generation (of course) is over the moon about the idea of casting his vote. This year will be the first year he is able to do so.  No, we did not tell him who to vote for….thought about it but didn’t. His dad and I told him to pay attention to what that candidates are saying they can do to better America and his current situation. We also told him to read between the lines…….anyone can make a lie sound good! Two ladies from the older generation basically said they had done their part to bring about change and now we younger generations can have it. What the what!!!! Growing up, my family, (some who lived thru it) informed me of the struggle and what African Americans had to endure so that we may share in the same equality’s and exercise our right to vote. I do not take lightly, the blood that was shed so that I  may have the right to vote. The only way to aid in getting your candidate of preference elected is to vote. Choosing not to vote is your right as well….but if you choose not to vote….then do not complain!!!!

Financial Infidelity!!!! (copy)

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I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

Financial Infidelity!!!!

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I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

Financial Infidelity!!!

money 2

I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.