Does Loyalty Help World Peace?


As human we are naturally wired to have a sense of loyalty. Loyalty builds relationships that last for long periods of time. Loyalty also allows us to know who to trust and who to steer clear from. The question I have though, is why dos loyalty have to be so closed minded? For example if I am loyal to couch, can I not be friends or associate with my love seat. This thought came up yesterday while browsing through my time line. It was so many comments about the different disasters in the world. There was a great deal of fighting over what country to be loyal to.

I was saddened because most of the controversy and animosity was coming from my own people- African-Americans. Why as a black women do I have to be more outraged about Kenya than I do about France? Why can’t I be equally compassionate and concerned about all entities? I saw a meme on Facebook that read ‘Black people can care about Paris, the University of Missouri, HBCUS, police brutality, Syria, racial equality, Nigeria, education, and the election all at the same time without losing our “Black Card” It’s not a DAMN contest’.

This is my sentiment exactly. I don’t have to be partial to a crisis because of the race into which I was born. Truth is this planet is not as big as we would like to believe and when these tragedy’s happen they affect us all. I just wanted to touch on this subject because in order to get ahead we will HAVE to ALL come together because today it may be France but tomorrow it could possibly be at the United States front door. We should be so quick to dismiss issues that are global as ‘their problem’; they affect us all.

Marriage and Boundaries

marriage boundaries

Is it okay to have friends of the opposite sex when you are married? Is it okay to keep secrets from your spouse? Is it okay view pornography when you’re married? Is it okay to be facebook friends with your ex?

There is not a one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. Each relationship has its own rules. But here are some guidelines to keep you from crossing the line:

1. Your spouse should be your top priority. If s/he is uncomfortable with another relationship that you have, you should end it. That “friend” should not be as important to you as your spouse.

2. If you find you are telling your “friend” your spouse’s secrets, but keeping secrets about your “friend” from your spouse, you have crossed the line. Your loyalty is to your spouse, not your “friend.”

3. If you find yourself deleting messages, pictures, etc. from your phone or computer, password-protecting electronic information from your spouse, or otherwise keeping secrets from your spouse, you are crossing the line.

4. If you have feelings of guilt about your behavior, you have crossed the line.

5. If you are starting to develop romantic feelings toward your “friend,” you should end that relationship.

6. It is up to your spouse whether or not s/he is comfortable with you being friends on facebook with your ex. If your spouse is uncomfortable with it, this is definitely not the battle to pick. It’s just facebook.

To sum up, your spouse is your priority, your loyalty. If someone threatens to come between the openness in your marriage relationship, end your relationship with that person.