Communication Can Make or Break Families

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It has been laid on my heart to move from blogging a third person academic blog to speaking of communication in families from first hand experience with the knowledge I have gained academically and spiritually.  Family is one of the most important support systems that a person can have.  A family member can also be the most important thing the family has.

The pillar of my family was my grandfather.  He was a self made man.  Back in his day, a person could still do that without having certificates from a university saying that they are worthy of opportunity.  I was raised by my grandparents who valued integrity above all else but led by the faith of our higher power in which I choose to call God.  My grandparents believed in hard work and nothing was free.  They also believed in family.  We all knew that they valued family.  This belief was not conveyed in words but actions of support.  I now know that I needed to hear the words of love and see actions of love, not just morals and values on how to treat others outside of the home.  Lack of communication is generational in my family.

Six years ago my grandfather, at the age of 62, passed with pancreatic cancer.  It was a sudden and quick demise to death.  I was angry at God for taking the greatest person I had ever known and the one person I knew loved me unconditionally.  I would have given any of his monetary means up to have him back.  The lack of communication in my family caused huge gaps in-between each family subsystem under our patriarch.  Without his unspoken leadership, we began deteriorating as a family unit.  Thought processes were assumed by other members that where not factual but no one called the other and spoke of it.  This was steady fueling something that would soon explode.  The lack of communication allowed negativity to split our family unknowingly at the time.

On Thursday my brother called.  I have not spoken to him in a year.  Not due to any fractures between us but the fractures in our family.  He had the same question for me that I have had for all of my family.  What happened here and why?  Assumptions are dangerous and very misleading but can be doctored at the root and killed off with communication.  There is power in admitting wrongs and misgivings.  It demonstrates being humble but most importantly, that you are not putting yourself above the fracture that has occurred and you are not blaming anyone.  Lack of communication is to blame.  We often let pride and life get in our way of reaching out to those we feel wronged by.  Communicating with others allows some of the wrongs to be seen in their perspective and that wrong may not feel as wrong anymore.  My brother and I both left the conversation with a peace we had not felt in a very long time.

As I finish my education through one of the top universities in this nation, one of the greatest learning lessons I have gotten was this morning in a service by Bishop TD Jakes.  This message was about you.  It was about me.  It was about individuals taking on the power to change their life and surrounding themselves with good people.  Believing in yourself gives you power to reach out and communicate.  In his ministry, he is honoring and recognizing how important mental health is.  Jakes has made this his mental health awareness month.  He also spoke of having a team of counselors on staff because they are given the power to help with situations in your life.  My supervisor at Family First Counseling, Ms Megan Lee, told me that she is a Christian that counsels. Professional counselors can help with communication.  It is not a weakness to seek out help for you and your family.  This allows for healing and understanding to start.  We are in this field because it brings joy to our hearts to see families prosper.  Communicate with others and if that feels to intimidating, seek help to learn how to communicate.

 

Christy Ragle

 

Faith Out The Window

FaithOutTheWindsow

A small boy was on a bus on his way home from Sunday school. The day was warm. The windows were open. The boy had received a motto on a card, “Have Faith in God.” As the wind swept through the bus, his card went flying out the window. He shouted, “Stop the Bus! My faith in God just went out the window.” — Faith That Works by Morris L. Venden

When the winds blow and knocks over your life, and the rain comes pouring down in your marriage, and the lightning strikes with a coworker, does your faith in God blow out the window?  Someone once told me that crises and difficulties in life means you are in character college, earning your degree in Faith.  Crises in life can be challenging and discouraging, a time when our faith can be shaken.  Don’t let your faith go out the window.  Talk to God about your despair and surround yourself with people who will encourage you in your faith walk.

Faith

Faith

He who has faith has…an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well–even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.   B.C. Forbes

What is our responsibility as Christians to pray for and believe in the best for ourselves, our loved ones and even our enemies?  This week, my personal goal is to cease all negative talk, complaining, etc. and to give those concerns over to God.

Going Deeper

Going Deeper

I heard something really good and simple at church this week. It goes a little something like this:

Do you know why a fish doesn’t worry about a storm that is coming??? Because when a storm moves across the ocean it only can affect about 25 feet of the ocean’s depth. So when the fish are aware of a storm coming, they simply go deeper! Ha!

So when the storms of life come, go deeper! #DropsMic

“But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” NLT Jeremiah 17:7-8.

 

But God

But God

“But God”
(Song by Isaac Carree feat. James Fortune)

Ha ha ha, you know people have no idea what you went through to get to where you are.
So many times it seemed like it was over, but God. Isaac Carree, tell em about it.Every time I think that I’m all by myself, I just look up in the sky and that’s where I find my help.

You might think that you got it all worked out and you think that everything’s okay.
There ain’t nothing that you done to deserve His mercy, and His grace.
(He gives us what we don’t deserve, that’s why we say it’s amazing.)

You were bout to lose everything, but God (I know I’m not the only one who’s been there).
When the doctor said any day, but God (He made the doctor).
And the devil tried to test your faith but God (He thought he really had you this time).
But God, yeah but God. Nobody but GOD. But GOD!

Give me one good reason why you should still be alive.
That accident you passed last night was meant to take your life.
It would have been you in the grave, you could have been with the pain.
When the judge said twenty to life, should have been calling your name, but God.

There ain’t nothing that you done to deserve His mercy, and His grace
(Can I get a witness on that? Thank ya Isaac.)

You were bout to lose everything, but God.
When the doctor said any day, but God (then you went back and he couldn’t find nothing!).
And the devil tried to test your faith, but God.
(If ya grateful for a but GOD in your life.)
But God, yeah but GOD, nobody, but God, but GOD.

Just know that there ain’t no situation that you’ve come out of on your own (He’s always been right there wit ya).
Right in the middle of the last don’t mean your life.
Might have thought that you were by yourself, but he was right there by your side.

You were bout to lose everything, but God (In the hospital with your baby).
When the doctor said any day, but God. And the devil tried to test your faith, but God.
(you thought it was over) But God, yeah but God, nobody, but GOD, but GOD!

And to every survivor listening, who’s ever been counted out and even canceled out.
And your situation may have looked impossible and now people are looking for an explanation on how in the world you made it through what you went through.
I don’t want you to let everybody in all your business, but I just want you to look at them and give em the short version of your testimony and just tell em, you know what, it was nobody, BUT GOD!

#MusicTherapy #SoulSurgeon