Financial Responsibility

Financial ResponsibilityI don’t know about you but financial responsibility was never taught to me.  I learned how to manage my personal finances through trial and error.  Some of those errors were hard lessons.  It would be such an invaluable lesson to teach our children about finances early because it is one skill that will benefit them over their lifetime.

Here are some tips to help teach your child financial responsibility:

  • Purchase a toy cash register with play money and play grocery store with your children, including purchasing items and checking them out.
  • Let them hold the envelope with the coupons and share how coupons can save money.
  • When shopping, give your child the money and let them pay for small purchases.
  • Purchase a piggy bank or open a savings bank account and encourage your child to save a percentage of their allowance or gift money for that special small and large wants.
  • Play Monopoly (or any other game that involves play money) and let your children be in charge of the bank
  • When grocery shopping, point or say aloud the prices of different items. Your child can see how you decide which item is a better buy.
  • Help your child decide which items are the best option when they are spending their own money. “You can buy one toy for 10 dollars? or you can get three different toys for the same price.” Let them then make the choice.
  • Take your child to the swap meet and encourage them to negotiate.
  • As they get older, have your child purchase their wants and you will continue to provide for their needs.
  • Practice what you preach! If you tell them that you can’t afford something, don’t later charge it on the credit card.  Let your children see you demonstrating financially responsible decisions.

Kids Don’t Come With An Instruction Manual

KidsDon'tComeWithAnInstructionManual

A friend and I were talking and she told me, “I hate when people say Kids don’t come with an instruction manual.”  She went on to explain that as a Christian we should never say this statement because we have the Bible.  I must humbly admit as a Christian that I have thought and said that exact statement to parents.  After speaking with my friend, I got to thinking about just exactly  what does the Bible say about parenting.  I did some intentional study of God’s Word, and what I discovered is that the Bible has a whole lot to say about parenting!  Although the Bible does not outline what to do in every situation a parent may face, God does  give parents a framework of guiding principles.

Teach Your Children Moral and Ethical Principles about Life — Be sure you are equipping your children with a moral and ethical code when you send them off into the world!

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Encourage Your Children — Don’t be the parent who is too hard to satisfied!

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3:21

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

Psalm 103:13

Discipline Your Children — Don’t be afraid to set up rules and limits; it is in their best interest!

A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

Proverbs 29:15

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 22:15

 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul.

Proverbs 29:17

He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive…”

1 Timothy 3:4

Teach Your Children about the Bible and to Love God — Prioritize developing your child’s spiritual growth!

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

Psalm 78:4

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

…and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.   All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

2 Timothy 3:15-17

Love ME for ME

Love ME for ME

Do you love your child just the way they are? Are you a parent that builds their child up or is breaking their child down? Building your child up can be difficult if your parents did not model that for you. A lot of the times we will do what we saw our parents do. If you are finding yourself breaking your child’s spirit I want to urge you to give us a call. Every parent wants the best for their children, but if we don’t have the skills and the knowledge to provide positive parenting we can end up hurting our child in the end.

Here is an example that you can think about: you son spills his dinner drink almost every night. How do your respond? Do you yell, “You can’t get anything right! You are always making a mess! What is wrong with you?! Or do you say, “Everyone makes mistakes. Grab a rag and clean up”. Do you see the difference? One will tear a child down and make them feel like an invisible person while the other builds them up and lets them know that you love them just the way they are. If you feel that you fall in the first category please give me a call. I know it can be embarrassing, but we are not here to judge your situation but to help you! We offer a free 30 minute face to face consultation to see if we would be a good fit.

No Perfect Parent

No Perfect Parent

Recently I learned about four parenting styles. I want to share them with you so you can reflect on how your parenting approach may be contributing to the problem of getting your child to obey. First I want to start off with the permissive parent. If you fit in the category you are a parent that offers lots of love but not much discipline. This can cause your child to have very low self esteem. When there are no boundaries your child feel inferior and insecure. Your child will feel loved but they are unsure of their limits.

The neglectful parent is the worst of all four. This type of parent does not offer much love or discipline leading the child to grow up with deep emotional scars. The authoritarian parent does not express much love but is very big on discipline. Children to these parents grow up rebellious. The last parenting style is the authoritative parent. This type of style provides the best combination of love and discipline. Their boundaries are clear and they are also very loving. This child grows up with great self-esteem and has great coping skill.

Where do you fit with these parenting styles? If you find yourself in one that you are not proud of please give us a call. We would love to work with you and your family to get you learn how to be an authoritative parent.

Chores

Chores

It is important to start having kids help out with chores. Here is a guideline to use for different age groups:

 

Ages 2 and 3 

Personal chores

Assist in making their beds

Pick up playthings with your supervision

Family chores

Take their dirty laundry to the laundry basket

Fill a pet’s water and food bowls (with supervision)

Help a parent clean up spills and dirt

Dust

 

Ages 4 and 5

Personal chores

Get dressed with minimal parental help

Make their bed with minimal parental help

Bring their things from the car to the house

Family chores

Set the table with supervision

Clear the table with supervision

Help a parent prepare food

Help a parent carry in the lighter groceries

Match socks in the laundry

Answer the phone with parental assistance

Be responsible for a pet’s food and water bowl

Hang up towels in the bathroom

Clean floors with a dry mop

 

Ages 6 and 7

Personal chores

Make their bed every day

Brush teeth

Comb hair

Choose the day’s outfit and get dressed

Write thank you notes with supervision

Family chores

Be responsible for a pet’s food, water and exercise

Vacuum individual rooms

Wet mop individual rooms

Fold laundry with supervision

Put their laundry in their drawers and closets

Put away dishes from the dishwasher

Help prepare food with supervision

Empty indoor trash cans

Answer the phone with supervision

 

Ages 8 to 11

Personal chores

Take care of personal hygiene

Keep bedroom clean

Be responsible for homework

Be responsible for belongings

Write thank you notes for gifts

Wake up using an alarm clock

Family chores

Wash dishes

Wash the family car with supervision

Prepare a few easy meals on their own

Clean the bathroom with supervision

Rake leaves

Learn to use the washer and dryer

Put all laundry away with supervision

Take the trash can to the curb for pick up

Test smoke alarms once a month with supervision

Screen phone calls using caller ID and answer when appropriate

 

Ages 12 and 13

Personal chores

Take care of personal hygiene, belongings and homework

Write invitations and thank you notes

Set their alarm clock

Maintain personal items, such as recharging batteries

Change bed sheets

Keep their rooms tidy and do a biannual deep cleaning

Family chores

Change light bulbs

Change the vacuum bag

Dust, vacuum, clean bathrooms and do dishes

Clean mirrors

Mow the lawn with supervision

Baby sit (in most states)

Prepare an occasional family meal

 

Ages 14 and 15

Personal chores

Responsible for all personal chores for ages 12 and 13

Responsible for library card and books

Family chores

Do assigned housework without prompting

Do yard work as needed

Baby sit

Prepare food — from making a grocery list and buying the items (with supervision) to serving a meal — occasionally

Wash windows with supervision

 

Ages 16 to 18

Personal chores

Responsible for all personal chores for ages 14 and 15

Responsible to earn spending money

Responsible for purchasing their own clothes

Responsible for maintaining any car they drive (e.g., gas, oil changes, tire pressure, etc.)

Retrieved from Focus on the Family

Truth about divorce

Truth about divorce

Many years ago, the myth began to circulate that if parents are unhappy, the kids are unhappy, too. So divorce could help both parent and child. “What’s good for mom or dad is good for the children,” it was assumed. But we now have an enormous amount of research on divorce and children, all pointing to the same stubborn truth: Kids suffer when moms and dads split up. (And divorce doesn’t make mom and dad happier, either.)

The emotional scars have visible consequences. More than 30 years of research continues to reveal the negative effects of divorce on children. Most of these measurable effects are calculated in increased risks. In other words, while divorce does not mean these effects will definitely occur in your child, it does greatly increase the risks. The odds are simply against your kids if you divorce.

Research comparing children of divorced parents to children with married parents shows:

Children from divorced homes suffer academically. They experience high levels of behavioral problems. Their grades suffer, and they are less likely to graduate from high school.

Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile.

Because the custodial parent’s income drops substantially after a divorce, children in divorced homes are almost five times more likely to live in poverty than are children with married parents.

Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse than are those from intact families.

Before you say, “Not my kid,” remember that the children and teens represented in these statistics are normal kids, probably not much different from yours. Their parents didn’t think they would get involved in these things, either. Again, we’re looking at increased risks.

A few more statistics to consider:

Children from divorced homes experience illness more frequently and recover from sickness more slowly. They are also more likely to suffer child abuse.

Children of divorced parents suffer more frequently from symptoms of psychological distress. And the emotional scars of divorce last into adulthood.

The scope of this last finding – children suffer emotionally from their parents’ divorce – has been largely underestimated. Obviously, not every child of divorce commits crime or drops out of school. Some do well in school and even become high achievers. However, we now know that even these children experience deep and lasting emotional trauma.

For all children, their parents’ divorce colors their view of the world and relationships for the rest of their lives.

What parents see as a quick way out often results in emotional damage that the children will carry for 30 years or more. Divorce is no small thing to children. It is the violent ripping apart of their parents, a loss of stability and often a complete shock. While we often think of children as resilient, going through such trauma is a lot to ask of our kids.

In light of the fact that most marriages heading for divorce can be salvaged and turned into great marriages, parents should take a long pause before choosing divorce. While it may seem like a solution to you, it’s not an easy out for you or your kids. We are here to help. Give us a call and schedule an appointment.

Information retrieved from Focus on the Family.