Am I the Right Spouse? |

Client Intake Forms
5 June 2015
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Am I the Right Spouse

It is so easy to point out the faults of our spouse. We can easily come up with a list of things that bother us about them: He does not help with chores, is inconsiderate, doesn’t listen, leaves dirty dishes everywhere, watches too much tv, and the list goes on. Same for vice versa: she doesn’t cook or clean, she always has an excuse why she doesn’t want to have sex, she let herself go, she doesn’t respect me, and so on. Can you relate to any of these complaints?

I want to challenge you to instead of focusing on your spouse’s shortcomings, ask yourself: “Am I who they need me to be?” Start by being the right spouse and see what happens. When we are so busy pointing the finger at our spouse we cannot step back and see our own shortcomings. If you were married to you what would that look like? What would your complain list look like? Try changing you first, and I think you will be surprised at the change you will see in your spouse as a result of you shifting the focus off of them and onto you.

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Vernesa Perry

Vernesa is currently a Masters of Clinical and Counseling Psychology student at Capella University supervised by Megan R. Lee, LPC-S. She graduated from Presentation College with a Bachelors in Social Work.

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