Husbands, Show Your Wife Loyalty

woman ignored

Marriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

L – Loyalty

Be completely committed to her, offer her reassurance when she needs it not information.

Malachi 2:14

How To Do This: Don’t ogle other women (in her presence or out); talk to her positively; never bring up divorce.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Do I save my admiration of women to my wife alone? Is she sure I’m a one woman man?

Next: Husbands, Build Your Wife’s Self Esteem

Previous: P – Peacemaking – Practice Peacemaking

Husbands, Practice Peacemaking With Your Wife

apologizing to wifeMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

P – Peacemaking

Resolve issues and makeup when you have conflicts, don’t hold grudges or teach them a lesson.

Matthew 19:5

How To Do This: Say you are sorry when you are wrong; accept apologies when you get them.

Questions to Ask Yourself: When my wife tells me she is hurt or angry, do I easily admit I’m wrong, or do I get defensive, and express hurt and anger myself?  Do I understand how apologizing makes her feel more connected and valued with me?  Do I avoid discussing issues by saying, “Let’s drop it, or you need to move on?”

Next: L – Loyalty – Husbands, Show Your Wife Loyalty

Previous: U – Understanding – Husbands Offer Your Wife Understanding

Husbands, Offer Your Wife Understanding

consolling wifeMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

U – Understanding

Empathize and listen.  Don’t focus only on fixing things.

1 Peter 3:7

How To Do This: Listen, know when to give advice and when not to solve problems; repeat what she says to show you are listening.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Do I understand that talking is as important to my wife as sex is to me? Do I listen and let her talk or do I try to “fix” her or what is wrong when she doesn’t want me to? Do I see that “just talking” is the key to making her feel understood?

Next: P – Peacemaking – Husbands, Practice Peacemaking With Your Wife

Previous: O – Openness – Husbands, Be Open With Your Wife

Husbands, Be Open With Your Wife

openness

Marriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

O – Openness

A loving husband is open with his wife.  When husbands close themselves off and refuse to open up, she feels unloved.

Colossians 3:19

How To Do This: Share your feelings; Talk about your day; Use words instead of grunts and long sighs!

Questions to Ask Yourself: Do I share my thoughts and problems with her, or do I keep things to myself to prove I’m strong and capable? Do I come across as irritated or angry when she tries to draw me out? Do I turn my spirit and attention more toward the TV or other electronics than toward the heart of my wife?

Next: U – Understanding – Husbands, Offer Your Wife Understanding

Previous: C – Closeness – Husbands, Give Your Wife Closeness

Five Ways to Provoke Your Kids Without Really Trying

5 ways to provoke your children

Being too aggressive or physical is about losing our patience or our cool and being too strong with our kids verbally or physically.

It is easy to raise our voice to get them to listen, to grab them firmly and jerk them around while trying to get them to obey. Whatever the level, harsh language and rough treatment provoke or anger any child and eventually they close off to the parent.

Breaking promises can cross the line even if we have a good excuse for not showing up or following through on what was promised.

This can be as drastic as our friend whose mother drove away at a very young age and said she would be back in two weeks. His little heart thought every blue car was her returning. Sadly, his mother never returned and he basically grew up an orphan. He said, “It would have been better to hear, ‘I am an alcoholic and won’t be coming back, but Grandma will care for you.’”

A word of warning! If we break any promises – big or little – too many times, our children will lose trust in our words. We must realize how huge it is to a child when we break our word over and over, even if we try to make it up to them. Eventually, they no longer trust us. Proverbs 25:14 says it well. “Broken promises are worse than rain clouds that don’t bring rain” (CEV).

Name calling crosses the line, even when we say we’re kidding. It’s not “just for fun.” Words do hurt.

A child recalls his dad using the term “useless” over and over, and he realizes this was one of the reasons he shut off his spirit from him. He had to protect his heart. After awhile children start believing what they hear and then replay those words over in their minds as adults.

False or hasty accusations without fully checking and listening can be particularly harmful.

We tend to give quick answers leaving our kids feeling judged or misunderstood.

Unreasonable expectations, requests or demands are over-the-line mistakes parents can easily make because they aren’t aware their children are not capable of what they ask.

Maybe it is like the dad who coaches soccer and wants his daughter, who is the best player, to perform. But it’s really for his own significance.

He says it is for her good, but she eventually refuses to play. He erupts in anger for what he sees as her disrespect. She closes off in anger and feels unloved.

There are so many ways to cross the line and exasperate your children. Maybe if we weighed our words or actions we would find that what we think is provoking us, is really us provoking our children.

Article retrieved from Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs Love & Respect Website.

 

Husbands, Give Your Wife Closeness

closenessMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am starting to explore the COUPLE acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do for the next few days.  You can read the total acronym on my previous blog 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  Each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

C – Closeness

A loving husband is to cleave to his wife, talk to her, be affectionate, close to her heart — and not just when you want sex.

Genesis 2:24

How To Do This: Give her face to face time, get rid of interruptions, don’t just pause the tv to listen to a sentence and go back to what you are watching.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Have I been moving toward my wife or away from her? Do I tell her I love her on a regular basis or just when I want to have sex?

Next: O – Openness – Husbands, Be Open With Your Wife

Previous: C.O.U.P.L.E. – 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives