Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

shoulda, coulda, woulda

I should have bought comfortable flats instead of these 4 inch heels.

I could have gone to University of Texas instead of settling for a satellite school.

I would have bought Advil if I knew I was going to have this headache.

Stop “shoulding” on yourself!  Life is a bunch of choices (or box of chocolates if you are Forrest Gump) that all of us make on a daily basis.  Most of us look back and regret our past choices – relationships, education, outfits, etc.  I know I’ve had my fair share!  Along with regret, we also have expectations for our future choices.  For example: “Next time, I will do better.”  Reality check – no one is guaranteed a “next time”, a tomorrow nor another hour.  Our society teaches us to always look forward to the future.  How can one look forward to the future if one is dwelling on past mistakes or not even being aware of their present situation.  Take some time this week and slow down.  Notice what is happening right now.  Do you notice birds chirping outside?  Do you hear the white noise from your air conditioning unit?  Do you smell the perfume of your loved one?  When you let go of what we shoulda, coulda and woulda done, you will realize that life will still continue onward regardless of the choices that you have made.  Be thankful for what you have done in your past, learn from it and create your future by being present.

“We are alive in the present moment, the only moment for us to be alive.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Valentine’s Day Blues

Valentine's Day Blues

Here is another day that reminds some of us that we are alone. Valentine’s Day is a day when someone you love the most, shows you how important you are to them. Isn’t that funny, you wait all year for that one person to show you how much they care for you. Shouldn’t that person show their love for you 365 days of the year and not just 1 day? What if you don’t have a special person in your life? Does that mean that no one loves you?

If you don’t have a special person in your life, you should be a special person for your children or someone in need. There are so many people who are having a hard time in life and to know that someone cares enough for them to do something special would mean so much more than a day of flowers and candy for yourself. You can plan a day for yourself or with your children of volunteering at a hospital, nursing home or bringing food to the elderly in your neighborhood. Instead of thinking about how unfair it is not to have a valentine this year, try doing something for someone else and see how fulfilled you will become. In time, GOD will send you all of your desires of your heart. Have faith in finding true love, always give back and watch how GOD will reward you.

Will GOD Give You the Desires of Your Heart?

 Will GOD Give You the Desires of Your Heart?

So often, we talk about all the things we want in life, a new home, car or soul mate, but we more than often settle for something less than what want. In order for GOD to give you the desires of your heart, you first have to have a relationship with him. GOD wants you to have everything you hope and dream for, but you have build your trust and faith in him first. GOD is not materialistic, he has and own’s everything. He wants you to learn how to be humble and grateful for what you do have now. Have you every asked yourself, why you are not receiving promotions on your job, finding love or moving forward with your life? Did you ever think that instead of complaining about the things you have, thank GOD for them and in the same breath thank him for what is yet to come. Never settle for less than what GOD has planted in your heart. Learn how to sit and be still so GOD can do what he intends to do for you. If you have FAITH in GOD, everything you ask for you will receive.

Christians as Warriors

Christians as Warriors

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. –Edmund Burke

Someone recently quoted this to me to challenge me to continue to strive for a worthy endeavor.  My personal challenge has been to take the battle to prayer, trust God with it and to remember that I am not fighting against flesh and blood but against principalities.

 

The Art of Journaling

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Over the weekend I was doing some early Spring cleaning.  I found myself opening up some boxes that contained my childhood stuff.  Inside I found some wonderful memories… Barbie dolls, books, art work and journals.  I found myself intrigued in what my younger me wrote about within the journals, so I stopped and read them.  I read about my past loves and predicting our future with MASH/CASH, school assignments or teachers that I loved or hated, future plans of becoming a Doctor (maybe reach for that PhD someday still) and more.  Looking through and reading each of the entries brought the inner child out.  So, what is the big deal to journal?

Lifehack.org shares 5 reasons to journal:

1. Journals help you have a better connection with values, emotions and goals.

2. Journals improve mental clarity/help solve problems/improve overall focus.

3. Journals improve insight and understanding.

4. Journals track your overall development.

5. Journals facilitate personal growth.

Each client that I see receives a journal and is suggested to write daily.  The clients that have told me they followed through with my suggestion have shown and FELT self-improvement.  Clients have told me that they have fewer negative thoughts, an increase in self-esteem/self-worth and have set clear goals with easy steps.  Journaling is a powerful strategy to help with the chaotic lifestyle that each of us live in.  Have you started a journal?  If not, when will you start?

Resource: Lifehack 5 Reasons to Journal

Love Keeps NO Score

Love Keeps NO Score

As Valentines Day approaches I am reminded of how God blessed me with such an amazing husband. As a wife I could easily nit pick all the things my husband does wrong, but how can God bless me if that is where my focus is? Instead I pray to God to show me all of my husband’s strengths and to look at him with honor for all the things he is doing right. I honestly feel that by doing that my marriage has been transformed. How would you feel if someone kept pointing out all of your wrongs? If you could do nothing right, what would motivate you to change?

Reflecting back in my early years of school I remembered all of the teachers that made a positive impact in my life. All of those teachers had something in common. They praised all of my hard work. They pointed out my qualities. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18) Never do I remember them pointing out my faults. Wives and husbands I encourage you to take your marriage and your spouse to the Lord. Pray that God will show you what it truly means to love your spouse. The bible says “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 ) If you are overwhelmed and do not even know where to start to repair your marriage give us a call. We are here to help.