I spent Mother’s Day weekend in Houston with my mother and grandmother. I am truly blessed to have such independent, caring and empowering women in my life. They have experienced hardships in their life that I can not fathom. Through the times of losing a loved one, divorce, sharing a cramped space together, they never stopped loving my sister and I (along with the rest of our family). I wish there was more that I can do to show my appreciation for them being in my life, but all I was able to offer them this weekend was my presence, hugs and tons of kisses.
I can’t brag enough about my mom and grandma’s big loving hearts and always willing to offer everything they have to see others happy. They sometimes forget to treat themselves. So, to sum it up with a Bible passage that is fitting for the two queens who have raised me: here’s to both of you!
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full of confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:10-30
Many hugs and a lot more kisses!
What praises have you given to your mother/grandmother this Mother’s Day? Let’s celebrate the women in our lives by acknowledging and showing them our appreciation. Cheers to all mothers!
In a recent review of several articles to increase my knowledge of supervision, it was reinforcing to read another professional’s view that placed a high importance on the relationship between the supervisor and supervisee. I have often considered the relationship as one that has many similarities to that of counselor and client relationship in terms of it being a collaborative experience. To quote Annie Simpson from her article A Supervision Guide, “The purpose or goal of supervision can be viewed as the creation of a good relational space by the supervisor and supervisee where the focus is on creative, joyous, collaborative learning and personal/professional growth which allows support and monitoring of the supervisees work for the welfare and safety of the client”. She goes on to review the components that foster a good relationship and those that can present barriers to the supervision relationship. She refers to Rogers and the person centered theory which denotes a sense of safety where the supervisee is encouraged to express their inner thoughts, feelings and experiences without fear or punishment. A relationship built on the person centered theory is thought to promote learning, increased self awareness, professional growth, trust and respect.
The article also depicts the role of brief therapy in the supervision experience by recognizing that the supervisee has preconceived expectations, projections, hopes and fears from the outset of the supervision experience. The supervision relationship may be fertile ground for the supervisee to evaluate personal issues that present themselves in response to the dual role of the supervisor to be supportive and nurturing while also having the task to confront issues and or behavior. The closest comparison that comes to mind for a supervisor and supervisee is the parent/child relationship. The supervisor has to balance creating an environment that fosters a person’s sense of safe exploration while at the same time being skilled at confronting behaviors or underlying issues that need addressing. Transference and counter transference are a common trigger in this relationship. Supervisees must be willing and able to consider family of origin issues playing a part in the dynamic of the supervision relationship. It is important that the supervisor maintain an environment that allows for the supervisee to acknowledge these dynamics. Many supervisees may fear or avoid the vulnerability that comes with admitting to a supervisor a deficit or challenge in an area. Supervisees need to understand that by not talking about their deficits, lack of knowledge or experience in a particular area can diminish the possibilities of personal and professional growth. Supervisees can increase in their awareness of similarities in the relationship between counselor and client in terms of the power differential by their experience in supervision. As supervisees, we are the client and the supervisor is the established professional.
Feeling in a rut? Do something silly and laugh at something you did. Remember, everyone deserves a break and we’re often hardest on ourselves.
The Invisible Mom looks something like this:
Mom– “Hey can someone turn down the volume on the tv?”
Kids and husband– (silence) No one responds to her or even acknowledges that she asked something…….Mom feels invisible.
While hanging out with other couples your husband asks the other parents about their family and how they are doing. Your wife smiles as she realizes that she cannot remember the last time you asked her how she was doing. She feels invisible.
Can you relate to this as a mom? Husbands does this ring true in how you respond to your wife? Even though the neglect is usually not intentional the failure comes because there is no intent to honor her. Wives need active affirmations. Respect is what wives and mothers want much more then avoidance. Dads please help your children respect their mother. Next time instead of avoiding her create a climate of respect by telling your children to give her their attention. Children look to dads first, so if you are not respecting your wife when she speaks, neither will your children. The last thing mom should feel is invisible. Proverbs 31:28 says, “Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her”.
Consider donating time or money to a worthy cause. By helping others you can foster a sense of belonging and remind yourself that you are relatively lucky.
Hold the door for a stranger or sign up to volunteer for your favorite charity. Studies show that random acts of kindness increase release of oxytocin- the “feel good” hormone.