My Money Is Your Money

My Money Your Money

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6).

In marriage there really shouldn’t be my, his, or her money. The money should be ours. Money should not cause division in your marriage. After all our money is all God’s money that he has entrusted to us. Married couples should be on the same page in tithing, giving, spending, and saving.

You need to be a team to have a successful marriage. Money is powerful, and if we don’t have any accountability we can become selfish very quickly. We need our spouse on our team, so that we can have the right perspective on our money. If you are not on the same page it is important to sit down and have a talk about creating a spending plan together.

Not only will you develop a deeper bond with your spouse when you can manage your finances together, but you will please God. Your intimacy will improve as well. Finances can deepen your relationship with one another if done right and if done together. When you keep your finances separate it says that I don’t trust you, or I am not ready to become one.

More marriages have blown apart over financial issues than almost any other factor!! Always discuss your finances as a couple. One spouse will usually have more financial skill and will naturally take the lead, but this is not an excuse for the other spouse not to be involved. Listen to what God is telling you through your financial circumstances. Don’t forget that everything we have comes from God. He owns all of it, and He entrusts it to us to use for His purposes. True financial success comes from following God’s plan for our finances.

Vernesa Perry

Self-Care for Parents

Self-Care for Parents

Parents are professional care-takers of their children but often fail at taking care of themselves.  Some parents even feel guilty if they spend any time honoring their own desires and passions.  They may spend all their energy investing in their children’s passions and interests even at the expense of their own well-being.  The truth of the matter is a child’s well-being is directly related to a parent’s own well-being.  If parents take time for themselves — to refuel, to seek out their own passions and desires, to meet their own needs — their capacity to connect and take care of their children will be maximized.  By taking time for themselves, they not only model for their children the value of self-care but will be re-energized to  give their best to their children.

Look back at your list of dreams and wishes today and give yourself permission to do something just for you.

Emotional And Personal Intelligence

Emotional & Personal Intelligence

Reflecting on the value of emotional and personal intelligence as a Christian while reading the book The Power of Personality and How it Shapes Our Lives by John D. Mayer (2014), the question came to mind: What should my motivation be for looking at my own personality or that of another, in essence “sizing up another person”.  Is this what the Bible refers to as judging?  If it is considered judging another to notice another’s character and habits then how do we avoid being unequally yoked?  Is it wrong or arrogant to be aware of our own strengths and to want to spend time with people who share those strengths?

A local pastor made the statement at a welcome and introductory dinner for visitors of the church, “If you look around a room or table and think that you are the smartest person in the room, then something is wrong”.  He is implying that the person needs to check themselves and their perception of themselves in the world around them.  Why would it be wrong for a Christian to believe he/she is the smartest person in the room?  I guess we could test this question by giving a group of new visitors a series of IQ tests to determine who has the highest IQ and have each person give a confidential response to who is the smartest person in the room.  What if the person who has the highest IQ happens to be aware of the difference between his intellect and that of others?  Is it wrong for him to have this awareness?

These questions lead me to some of the broader trends of the American culture and society concerning the value of competition and individualization.  We are a society that places a high value on winning.  Even if in a race, the person in second place loses by a second or fraction, they do not “win the prize”.  How does this constant determination of one person being better than another set us against each other?  It is my belief that the plight of competition against each other for money, power and prestige has placed us against each other.  We have lost the ideal that by one person erring in life, we all are affected.  Jesus said, “If you do it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me”.  As Christians, we must accept each other without trying to be dominant in some way.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Physiological

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Physiological

Abraham Maslow is a well-known psychologist in 1943 whom developed the hierarchy of needs.  The hierarchy of needs describes levels that individuals take in order to fulfill a desired need.  There are five needs within the pyramid form, in ascending order: physiological, safety, social, esteem and self-actualization.  In order to transition to the next need, the individual will need to fulfill the one below.  For example, someone who wants to increase their support system must obtain safety first.  That person must feel safe in sharing information to others via established and maintained boundaries.  Once each need is met, a person can obtain self-actualization (which we will discuss in a later post).  But for now, let’s focus on the very basic need that everyone is required to have in order to start their way up the pyramid: physiological.

Physiological needs are air, water, food, shelter, warmth, and sleep.  Do you have a roof over your head and food on your table?  Consider yourself blessed!  Not everyone has obtained this need.  Most of the clients that enter the crisis facility that I work at comes from off the street.  They were lucky to obtain three nutritious meals daily and a hot bath.  Some mentioned sleeping in unsanitary conditions, such as, under passage ways or in tents.  When these ladies arrive to the facility, we offer all physiological needs.  The first few days, the ladies are even allowed to sleep periodically throughout the day to provide rest and recovery.  You never know the importance of this need until it is gone.

“It is quite true that man lives by bread alone — when there is no bread.” – Maslow

The next time you see someone requesting assistance with food or water, assist them.  After all, we are here on this earth to bless one another, not to condemn or judge.  Stay blessed!

Is It Really Love….Online???

Online dating Stock Photography

I was talking with a couple of my girlfriends a few weeks back……(two single…one divorced the other never married) and two married. The topic for most of this conversation was dating and how to find a “good man.” They turn to me, since I have been married for almost two decades, (yep the longest in this group) for answers/suggestions. Naturally, I gave the answer I always give…..love takes time and the more you try to rush it the longer it takes…..unless of course you are willing to SETTLE!!! And of course I got the answer I always get…”that’s easy for you to say…you’re married to a good man.” I’ve been married 19 years and am secure in my relationship with my husband. My husband and I met at school and were friends first and it gradually turned into love. Another married friend met her husband via an online dating site. Both of my single friends are dating people they met online. All three think online dating is the best thing ever. Basically, what I get from the conversation is that my friends are lazy and do not want to do the work!!! They want to weed out the bad per a computer based on questionnaire. What if the incompatible one is “the one?” Call me old fashion but if you limit your options aren’t you still settling? Online dating maybe the easier way but that does not necessarily make it better. What do you think?

1st Love 1st Hero

1ST HERO 1ST LOVE

DAD:

A SON’S FIRST HERO

A DAUGHTERS FIRST LOVE

Fathers make all the difference in the world. They are so important in their children’s lives. As a dad you are chosen for a very special assignment.  Leadership from a father has tremendous positive effects like better school performance and better self-confidence. Kids learn by watching their dads. Do not allow work pressures or other commitments to take you away from your children. Make the time because it is so important.

Neglecting your role as a father has damaging consequences and produces spiritual damage. There is a reason that scriptures warn fathers not to exasperate their children in Ephesians 6:4. Another version says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”.  In addition, scriptures warn father not to embitter their children either in Colossians 3:21. Do not provoke or aggravate your children because this will cause them to get discouraged. Take a moment and reflect on your relationship with your father. What did you need from him that he gave you? What about something that you needed but never received? How did his positive input help you succeed? What about the flip side of that? Answering these questions might reveal some truths for you.

Remember that you are chosen! You are chosen to be the ordinary dad who can alter history by loving your children and guiding them to put God first in their lives as you raise them. If you have struggled in the past with issues because of your own experiences with your father I highly recommend reading Kingdom Man by Tony Evans. Another great author is Kevin Leman who wrote What a Difference a Daddy Makes and Be the Dad She Needs You to Be.