Do Not Go to Bed Angry

Do not go to bed angry

Conflicts are a healthy part of marriage if handled correctly. We should not bottle up our anger, but openly discuss the problems in our marriages. In marriage we have to give each other the right to complain. Do not go to bed in anger because this is when the enemy will come in and bring destruction in your marriage.  Please watch the following 5 minute video about daily anger by Pastor Jimmy Evans from Marriage Today.

 

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Love and Belonging

Maslow's Hierarchy of Need: Love and Belonging

Once safety has been obtained, the next step in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is love and belonging.  In love and belonging, we search for purpose among our friends, family and significant others.  It is an external factor that is required for us to accept before looking inward (next step: self-esteem).  At this stage, we may ask ourselves these following questions:

– Who is in my support group?  How many people make up my support group – 2, 5, 10?  Support groups have a significant impact on one’s growth.  When speaking of support groups, they should be positive, not enabling.  For example:  If you have a friend that gambles their money away and asks for financial assistance, provide them support via giving them the gambling hotline number ((214) 890-0005 Dallas or (817) 371-0624 Fort Worth).  Do not continue to give money in order to promote their habit — some might call it stern love, I call it support.

– How do my parents provide me love?  Are they emotionally, spiritually, financially and/or physically there for you?  Do they show their love through hugs and kisses or other means?  My father shows me love by inviting me to Texas Rangers baseball game for “daddy and me” dates.  My mother shows me emotional love by reasoning and confiding via our phone chats.  If you’re a parent, how do you show your child love?

– Where do you fit in your work place?  How do you know you belong?  At work, there may be incentives, such as, gift cards or bonuses based on your work effort.  Since we are at our work place for about 40 hours a week, our workplace can become our secondary family.  Where do you fit in this secondary family?

– How does your significant other show love to you?  What is needed to increase intimacy between the two of you?  Do you need to sit and listen more while your spouse talks or do you need to spend more quality time with them?  We all have different love languages that need to be acknowledged when we are in relationships.  Check out your love language by taking the quiz on www.5lovelanguages.com created by Gary Chapman.

Have you obtained this need?  If so, let us know how you have down below.  If you are struggling, Family First Counseling is here to assist you with this need.  Call us today!

Mean Girl

MeanGirlI was so intrigued when I heard the term coined “Inner Mean Girl”.  There has been a lot of conversation (and rightfully so) about bullies on the “playground”, but as women we can be the biggest bully and the meanest to ourselves.  We are often comparing ourselves to the woman next door, over-critical about our looks/weight, and striving for unrealistic expectations at work and home.  Toxic and negative thoughts result in us judging ourselves and feeling like we do not meet the bar or that we are not good enough.  Our Inner Mean Girl sabotages our efforts for happiness.  If you find you are constantly battling your Inner Mean Girl and it has interrupted your journey to your dreams, contact us!  We can help shut her down.

20 Minute Challenge

20 Minute ChallengeIf you are married I challenge you to set aside at least twenty minutes a day to sit down and talk with your spouse. Communication is so important in marriage. When a husband and wife are not communicating with each other problems usually enter into the marriage. That happens because it gives the devil time to talk to each spouse separately. He will sow seeds of suspicion in your marriage along with doubt and lies. The silent treatment between two spouses is an invitation to trouble. Please don’t use silent treatment as a punishment, but rather make it a point to communicate to each other every day.

 

The Gift of I AM

The Gift of I AM

 “I AM, two of the most powerful words, for what you put after them shapes your reality” Unknown

Words are incredibly powerful – they can build or destroy.  Negative words creep into our mind and hearts — before we realize it, we are creating negative thoughts and attracting an undesirable situation into our life.  If your inner thoughts constantly replay  “I am not ________”, you will start to believe it and behave accordingly.  Let’s make it our mission to play on repeat positive words and affirmations — re-program and replace our negative thoughts to manifest our desires.  Here are a few positive affirmations to get you started!

I am Love.

I am safe and all is well in my world.

I am in the right place at the right time.

I am powerful.

I am playful.

I am sensual.

I am attractive.

I approve myself.

I love myself.

I trust the process of life.

I trust myself.

I am motivated.

I am courageous.

I am intelligent.

I am blessed.

I am a winner.

I am free to be myself.

I am making a difference.

I am a survivor.

I am responsible.

I am worthy.

Can you think of any others?

What Red, White and Blue Means to You!!!

celebration

I was watching the news yesterday as anchors covered the history leading up to the Independence of the U.S.A. One historian stated that the British still views America as “the defiant teenage”. Basically, America will soon realize the error of its rebellious ways “like a teenager” and return to Mother England. Pretty sure, this is not going to happen.!!! It was however, very interesting to hear view points from both sides of the pond. What I learned….reinforced what I already knew…….one’s perception of a situation is everything!!! The British view us as rebels with an unnecessary cause…and we view it as getting out from under tyrant dictatorship. Who’s right……who’s wrong? I guess your perception of the situation determines that for you. We will always have should’ve, could’ve, would’ve’s but they are all based on our perception of the encounter. Bottom line, no point of view should be minimized, because you do not agree with it…..various perceptions lead to insight!!! Although, I’m pretty sure the U.S.A. is not going to return to earlier days of colonization……STRANGER things have happened…..so Happy Independence Day…..maybe in 30 years we’ll celebrate with a spot of tea…pinkies out…..lol!!!