Once safety has been obtained, the next step in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is love and belonging. In love and belonging, we search for purpose among our friends, family and significant others. It is an external factor that is required for us to accept before looking inward (next step: self-esteem). At this stage, we may ask ourselves these following questions:
– Who is in my support group? How many people make up my support group – 2, 5, 10? Support groups have a significant impact on one’s growth. When speaking of support groups, they should be positive, not enabling. For example: If you have a friend that gambles their money away and asks for financial assistance, provide them support via giving them the gambling hotline number ((214) 890-0005 Dallas or (817) 371-0624 Fort Worth). Do not continue to give money in order to promote their habit — some might call it stern love, I call it support.
– How do my parents provide me love? Are they emotionally, spiritually, financially and/or physically there for you? Do they show their love through hugs and kisses or other means? My father shows me love by inviting me to Texas Rangers baseball game for “daddy and me” dates. My mother shows me emotional love by reasoning and confiding via our phone chats. If you’re a parent, how do you show your child love?
– Where do you fit in your work place? How do you know you belong? At work, there may be incentives, such as, gift cards or bonuses based on your work effort. Since we are at our work place for about 40 hours a week, our workplace can become our secondary family. Where do you fit in this secondary family?
– How does your significant other show love to you? What is needed to increase intimacy between the two of you? Do you need to sit and listen more while your spouse talks or do you need to spend more quality time with them? We all have different love languages that need to be acknowledged when we are in relationships. Check out your love language by taking the quiz on www.5lovelanguages.com created by Gary Chapman.
Have you obtained this need? If so, let us know how you have down below. If you are struggling, Family First Counseling is here to assist you with this need. Call us today!