Sense-ational Child

Sense-ational Child

Our brain is constantly taking in information through our senses.  Sense-ational children experience challenges with processing that information because their brain becomes confused with the information they process through their senses — sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.  In other words, the neurons in their brain are firing, but they struggle with organizing the information so that they can respond appropriately.  It is similar to listening to a lecture and trying to focus but you find yourself doodling.  The teacher thinks you aren’t listening but, in fact, the doodling helps you focus better.  Your brain is SENSING — The doodling helps integrate the information your brain is processing .  Or you may be the person who can study at Starbucks and not get distracted by the cafe noise while others may not be able to block out the noises.  Their brain is also SENSING – however, their brain cannot block out the background noise, preventing them from processing the information they are studying.

Sense-ational children have similar difficulties when trying to integrate information.  We need to help them learn how to integrate the information they sense so they can respond appropriately.  Their brain works.  It just works differently!

The sense-ational child may have difficulty focusing, may be sensitive to sounds or lights, have trouble making friends or enjoying activities most children enjoy, and have a lot of meltdowns making it hard for them to learn at school and at home.  If you notice any of these red flags, you may need to seek a Doctor and/or Therapist.

Road Rage Is Real!!!

control

We all have our pet peeves when it comes to driving. For instance, I absolutely loathe when other drivers wait until the very last-minute to get over; when signs have been posted that the lane they are in is about to end. In my opinion, them waiting causes  traffic pile ups. Let’s be honest, who really wants to let them over? The signs are posted in advance so that traffic will run smoothly. All this being said; the other day I was taking my daughter to a dentist appointment and we ran into construction. The sign stated that the right lane was going to end and to merge left. I of course got over once I saw the sign. Others waited until the last-minute. As we went through the light the middle lane also closed, so naturally all the people in the middle lane began to enter into the lane I was in. I did not have a problem with this as the sign did not state that both lanes would be closed. While I was letting someone in front of me, the person behind me tries to go around……yeah I blocked him!!! He begins to blow his horn and throw his hands up. I continue to drive the speed limit. Once the lanes open up, this guy decides to drive beside me clearly fussing. I simply smile and wave at him. This pisses him off even more. He then pulls in front of me and slams on his brakes. I anticipating that he was going to do something stupid had already began to switch lanes…..so as he hit his brakes I smiled and waved as I passed him. This dude was relentless….he speeds up and begins honking his horn to get my attention because at this point I will not acknowledge his presence.  This man runs into the car in front of him while giving me the one finger salute. I stop and gave the hit car my information in case she needed a witness. At this point Mr. Road Rage will not even look in my direction. I laughed all the way to the dentist office. An officer did call me and I told exactly what happened….he who laughs last….laughs best!!!!

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Self-Actualization

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Self-actualization

When you have succeeded in all the other needs of Maslow’s Hierarchy, you have reached the top: self-actualization!  It has been said that everyone has the capacity and capability to reach self-actualization, but very few actually do so.  Maslow reported that only 2% of people will obtain this need (1970).  I tend to be more optimistic and believe the percentage is higher, seeing how self-actualization is based on one’s own perception of self.  Below is a list of characteristics that define someone who has reached self-actualization, according to Maslow (1970):

1. They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty;

2. Accept themselves and others for what they are;

3. Spontaneous in thought and action;

4. Problem-centered (not self-centered);

5. Unusual sense of humor;

6. Able to look at life objectively;

7. Highly creative;

8. Resistant to enculturation, but not purposely unconventional;

9. Concerned for the welfare of humanity;

10. Capable of deep appreciation of basic life-experience;

11. Establish deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people;

12. Peak experiences;

13. Need for privacy;

14. Democratic attitudes;

15. Strong moral/ethical standards.

Behavior leading to self-actualization:

(a) Experiencing life-like a child, with full absorption and concentration;

(b) Trying new things instead of sticking to safe paths;

(c) Listening to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority;

(d) Avoiding pretense (‘game playing’) and being honest;

(e) Being prepared to be unpopular if your views do not coincide with those of the majority;

(f) Taking responsibility and working hard;

(g) Trying to identify your defenses and having the courage to give them up.

Do you find yourself among these characteristics and behaviors?  If so, congratulations – you have achieved self-actualization!  If not, that is okay — Maslow did not associate self-actualization to perfection.  Instead, obtaining self-actualization is a matter of degree in achieving one’s potential.  We will always continue to take backwards and forwards steps along Maslow’s hierarchy of needs depending on our situations, life stages and more.  If you would like to find out more about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, check out Simply Psychology’s website at: www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html.

Always continue to grow and prosper!

Kristy Johnson, MA, LPC-Intern

Sources:

Maslow, A. H. (1970a). Motivation and personality. New York: Harper & Row.

Maslow, A. H. (1970b). Religions, values, and peak experiences. New York: Penguin. (Original work published 1964)

McLeod, S. A. (2014). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Retrieved from www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

To Equal or Not to Equal

African-Couple-in-Love-219x146

Be ye not unequally yoked ( not equal) together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
KJV 2 Corinthians 6:14

Being unequally yoked, or in an marriage that is not equal, used to carry a large weight in the Christian community, especially in the Seventh-day Adventist church. As a Sevenths-day Adventist growing up, the pastor would not even marry a couple in the church unless the non-Adventist party was willing to be baptized into the denomination. I never agreed with this concept but it showed how adamant the church was about this particular charge in the Bible. In reality though, is the charge really that deep? As Christians we are all people who believe in Christ… do the denominational values really cause couples to be unequally yoked? An even better question is, does being unequally yoked only refer to spiritual context? I do not believe so. I believe being unequally yoked could mean a plethora of things. It could mean do not marry someone with different morals than yourself. It could also mean do not marry anyone of the same sex as yourself as God created Eve for Adam. Or maybe it could possibly mean do not marry some one who is of the world. In reality though, is the charge really that deep. This is one of the main reasons why pre-marital counseling is so important. One always thinks they know someone, but what the really know is how the person looks “on paper”. Counseling brings out attributes and flaws, if the work is being done, that may not other wise have been seen until it was too late. Marriages are supposed to be life long commitments, and sometimes love is just not enough. When a couple is yoked equally they will be able to work through those hard times when love is not enough and the divorce rate possibly would decline.

Below are a few cross references that Christians sometimes use in their journey of finding a mate or deciding what is meant by being unequally yoked.

Genesis 24:3
I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living,

Deuteronomy 22:10
Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.

Ezra 9:2
They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness.”

1 Corinthians 5:9
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people–

1 Corinthians 6:6
But instead, one brother takes another to court–and this in front of unbelievers!

1 Corinthians 7:39
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:7
Therefore do not be partners with them.

Ephesians 5:11
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

1 John 1:6
If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.

It’s Okay to Say No

ItsOkayToSayNo

Do you find your lips saying yes, even though your heart and thoughts are no?  Maybe you are afraid to disappoint your friend if you don’t show up?  Maybe you don’t want to look incompetent if you tell your boss you are not able to take on another responsibility, client, or project?  Maybe you don’t want to feel judged or feel guilty if you can’t participate on a ministry at church or volunteer at your child’s school event?  Whatever the reason may be, you find yourself saying YES when deep down you really want to say NO.  Taking on more than you want or can handle can have serious consequences (physical and emotional stress), but it can also get in the way of your priorities.  If you become overwhelmed because you have too much on your plate, you will not do anything well, even the important stuff.  By beginning to say “no,” you will be setting a boundary to protect yourself from burnout, and helping to take care of yourself.

Challenge yourself for the next 30 days to say “no” more often.  You can begin by practicing to say NO out loud so that when the opportunity presents itself, you will feel more natural and comfortable saying it. It’s okay to simply say “no,” but if you aren’t quite ready to only say “no”, these are some examples that you can practice.

  1. That sounds amazing, but I really can’t.
  2. Thank you for thinking of me, I’m flattered. I’m not able to fit that in my schedule right now.
  3. I won’t be able to give the time needed to it.
  4. I’m not taking on anything else at this time.
  5. No thanks. I have another obligation.
  6. No thanks. That’s really not my thing.
  7. I am practicing limiting my commitments.
  8. I’m not in a place where I can take on that type of commitment.
  9. I know I’ve volunteered in the past, but I’ve decided not to volunteer this year.
  10. I had so much fun last year but I’m not able to make it this year.

 

The Aftermath

Three is a crowd

While marriage can be the most pleasurable experience, it can also be the most painful. It breaks my heart that almost half of all marriages end in divorce.  An extramarital affair is the most detrimental event to a marriage and for the most part the hardest to treat. Going through the aftermath of adultery is like having to grieve for a death of a loved one. It is important to allow time to grieve whether you decide to stay or leave. It is also important to get professional help. Invite God to help you in the healing process. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit washes us with the water of the Word. The Bible is His Word. Start allowing the Lord to wash over you with healing as your begin to read the Bible. The Word of God states that His ear is attentive to your cry (Psalm 34:15) so He will comfort you (Isaiah 66:13). Turn to Him as you face this difficult phase in your life because there is nothing impossible with God. He will always work on the behalf of a person who trusts in Him and is trying to do the right thing. Give us a call so that we can help you in the healing process as well.