Marriage and the sanctity of it has diminished a great deal in the last few decades. So much so that divorce has just become a normality. Could this be in part due to how people are getting married? Once upon a time marriages where big deals. You would have to wear a white dress, a reverend, a church, and close family and friends in order for the occasion to be complete. Something about making vows in front of the people you love as well as God that makes them harder to break and/or abandon all together. The traditional wedding has become taboo and people are getting married anywhere. In backyards, at court houses, in reception halls, on cruise ships, etc. Not only are people not having weddings in churches any more but preaches are not officiating anymore as well. Anyone can online and get ‘ordained’ to administer weddings and funerals now. I think by taking the sanctity out of marriage has diminished its longevity. Now, of course this is from a Christian perspective and I’m sure others will disagree but I believe if weddings were done o proper way they may last longer. Now I am by means saying that everyone should get married in a church and if they do not they are doomed to fail. What I am suggesting though is, if you decided to go to the court house use a minister instead of a judge. Let the judge be the witness. Marriage is such an intrical part of many people’s lives. In my opinion it is better to do things in whatever way you see fit, but don’t count out the old fashion way. Many marriages survived because of the commitment attached to the ceremony.
I’m sure many of you have heard of the “Pay it Forward” concept. Basically, it is the understanding that a person or persons have helped you to get where you are. In honor of this assistance, you in return help someone else. As Christians it is our duty to help others. What a wonderful way to express God’s love and continue the helping cycle. If someone has assisted you in getting to where you are….I encourage you to devise a plan to assist others.
I was really elated when I filled up earlier this week for gas. Yay for $1.73/gallon!! That’s right, Kroger’s card is an ultimate life saver (at least in a worldly sense). As I was pumping my gas, which ended up totaling to less than $17.00, I began to think how grateful I was to receive such an awesome deal. Then my mind began to wonder…
What else am I grateful for??
I started to list off how blessed I was to own my car. My car is a 2010 Toyota Prius and it provides me a safe trip from point A to point B — it fits my needs perfectly. I am blessed to have a job (really, two jobs) that can provide the financial income to allow me to own this car. I am blessed that I have employers that believe in my skills and work ethics. I am blessed to have a career path, which was allowed via my education – both bachelors and masters. I am fortunate to grow up in a family that encouraged me to attend school, in order to better my future. I am grateful to have grown up in a family that was nurturing to my needs. I am blessed to be alive by my Father – the One who believed in me at the time of my conception, up until now. I know I am truly blessed to be a child of God and He has great plans for me.
Yes, tangential thinking, but when you notice one blessing, you began to count all the other blessings that led up to the point of your current blessing. So, have you counted your blessings today?
This is not an uncommon question. It is often asked by those who have not experienced and do not understand the complexity of remaining in a abusive relationship. The truth of the matter is that many people who are in relationships where no abuse occurs do not immediately leave even when there is trouble in paradise, or they leave and then return, similar to men and women who are in abusive relationships. The answer as to why they remain in the abusive relationship is as complex and complicated as how they will break free from the relationship. Leaving the relationship is a process. Professionals who work with victims of abuse know that the most dangerous time is when the victim leaves because the abuser becomes more violent.
Victims of abuse may face several hurdles to leaving the relationship. This list is not exhaustive:
- Economic Dependence on their abuser/Lack of Work Experience/Lack of financial resources
- Fear for their safety or the safety of their children and/or other family members.
- Isolation — no support system.
- Beliefs about Family — the victim may believe that family should not share family secrets. Guilt about breaking up the family unit.
- Beliefs about Marriage — the victim may believe that separation or divorce is not permissible.
- Belief that the abuser will find and kill the victim.
- Society’s response against victims — legal system, religious systems, family systems, and community.
- Belief that the abuser will change.
- Attachment and love for the abuser.
- Fear of losing custody of their children.
- Lack of Information about community resources that advocate and support.
I learned about Periscope in one of the business groups I’m in. What is Periscope, you ask? It is a live stream of what is currently going on in your mind at the time of recording. I’ve only done a few but because it is live, it is hard to be anything but be real. I especially like the fact that I will be able to connect with people in a very real, personal way. I can answer questions and talk about counseling topics in real time. You can sign up for Periscope through your Twitter account. My name on Twitter and Periscope is @meganleelpc. FYI when you follow me, know that I live Tweet about some TV shows. Mainly Empire, How to Get Away with Murder and Being Mary Jane!
Below is my first Periscope I ever did. I plan to do some live Q & A’s and answer some FAQ about counseling in the future. Some information I will get from what people search for on my website and others can come from you. If you have something you want me to scope about, let me know. You can email me at email@example.com and I’ll scope about it! Let me know if you want to be anonymous.
Check it out and let me know what you think! Be nice, it was my first one…
When I tell individuals that I enjoy mowing my yard, I receive a look of confusion. After all, I am married, so why isn’t my husband not doing the mowing? Well, my husband does other household chores: washing the dishes, vacuuming and cooking. As a couple we discussed what each will do to maintain our household. One of those was for me to maintain our yard… I view this chore as my bi-weekly workout routine and stress reliever. Ultimately, I encourage all women to mow their yard at least once to feel powerful (at least that is how I feel afterwards).
Back in the “good ole days” women maintained the interior of the home while men were the financial providers of the household. Well, times have changed and so have some of our established gender roles…slowly. As the current breadwinner, I can totally relate to the financial stress that my father and probably other males feel when balancing the family checkbook. I tell the men in my battering group that I get their stress since I live it — as a female! I don’t view my husband as less of a man with me being the breadwinner, because I know he assists me in other aspects. I brag a little too much about my husband’s amazing cooking!
If women want to be considered more equal, than my suggestion is for them to attempt some of the so-called “male roles”. Get your hands dirty working on your car, mow the yard, take the trash out, etc. Men, place yourself in your wife’s shoes for a bit — tend to ya’lls children, sweep and mop the kitchen, attend PTA meetings. Learn what it takes to assist your partner, to grow more appreciation for them. Redefine and shake up gender roles — you are meant to be equally yoked.