This blog post is a contribution from our intern Michelle Ezell, one of our Master’s Level interns.  One of my missions in training my interns is that they learn how to run a successful private practice when they leave me.  Or be trained well enough to partner with me!
Communication is a tool used to enhance understanding, and promotes meaning on so many levels of expression. I was reading an article by David Boehi (2012), and he admonished his readers of the importance of choosing to speak to your spouse in a manner that is respectful and conducive to healthy and positive communication overall. A common adage often heard today is ‘it’s not what you say–but how you say it.’ But how often do we adhere to this simple rule of communication when it comes to our spouses and partners? Tone, verbage, and careful selection of timing even can all have a significant impact on a message that is given to another. Once words are released from you lips (or email, text, etc.) it is up to the receiver of the message as to how he will interpret it–and this, as many of us know, can greatly influence the original intention of the message.
So, it is important that we are careful of how we speak to each other. James 3:9-10 says ” With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we can curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brother’s, this should not be.” When we speak to our loved ones, will we speak in a way that is empowering, encouraging, and uplifting? Or will we tear each other down with our weapons of venomous destruction? Communication is such an essential element in love and relationships, and a small adjustment as simply watching how we say things to the ones we love can improve one of the many essences in life, language, and love.
Boehi, D. (2008, May 19). Family Life.The Power of Words. Retrieved October, 21, 2012, from
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Megan, a native of Kansas City, Kansas is an empty nest parent of three adult children Ayanna, Jonathan and Isiah. Megan is a Christian and active in ministry at her church Cornerstone Baptist Church, in Arlington, TX. She is currently a Doctoral student working toward a Ph.D. in Marriage & Family Therapy at Texas Wesleyan University. Her personal interests include independent film, music and marriage enrichment. Megan is the co-founder of the Minority Behavioral Health Provider Networking Group along with colleague Cynthia Thompson.

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