Everyone looks forward to special gestures in their marriage. If you stop feeling like doing them or if they don’t happen very often, this may be a sign. At the start of an anger cycle the willingness and interest in doing favors, or treating your spouse and special ways stops. If your spirit of generosity feels bankrupt it may show up in other places in your marriage, seeming unintentional.Example: “we used to watch TV together almost every night, but I’ve been too busy to do that for a while.”
It may also feel like you have a valid excuse for the change in behavior.Example: “My husband never used a mind me hanging out with my girls, but now he’s always checking up on me when I do. I told him where I was going, I don’t have to keep checking in with him.”
Whether the decrease is intentional or seems unintentional, or purposeful, when you stop indulging, pampering and pleasing each other, when you stop treating each other carefully and gently, you are most likely feeling the pain of disappearing goodwill.