Emotional And Personal Intelligence

Emotional & Personal Intelligence

Reflecting on the value of emotional and personal intelligence as a Christian while reading the book The Power of Personality and How it Shapes Our Lives by John D. Mayer (2014), the question came to mind: What should my motivation be for looking at my own personality or that of another, in essence “sizing up another person”.  Is this what the Bible refers to as judging?  If it is considered judging another to notice another’s character and habits then how do we avoid being unequally yoked?  Is it wrong or arrogant to be aware of our own strengths and to want to spend time with people who share those strengths?

A local pastor made the statement at a welcome and introductory dinner for visitors of the church, “If you look around a room or table and think that you are the smartest person in the room, then something is wrong”.  He is implying that the person needs to check themselves and their perception of themselves in the world around them.  Why would it be wrong for a Christian to believe he/she is the smartest person in the room?  I guess we could test this question by giving a group of new visitors a series of IQ tests to determine who has the highest IQ and have each person give a confidential response to who is the smartest person in the room.  What if the person who has the highest IQ happens to be aware of the difference between his intellect and that of others?  Is it wrong for him to have this awareness?

These questions lead me to some of the broader trends of the American culture and society concerning the value of competition and individualization.  We are a society that places a high value on winning.  Even if in a race, the person in second place loses by a second or fraction, they do not “win the prize”.  How does this constant determination of one person being better than another set us against each other?  It is my belief that the plight of competition against each other for money, power and prestige has placed us against each other.  We have lost the ideal that by one person erring in life, we all are affected.  Jesus said, “If you do it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me”.  As Christians, we must accept each other without trying to be dominant in some way.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Physiological

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Physiological

Abraham Maslow is a well-known psychologist in 1943 whom developed the hierarchy of needs.  The hierarchy of needs describes levels that individuals take in order to fulfill a desired need.  There are five needs within the pyramid form, in ascending order: physiological, safety, social, esteem and self-actualization.  In order to transition to the next need, the individual will need to fulfill the one below.  For example, someone who wants to increase their support system must obtain safety first.  That person must feel safe in sharing information to others via established and maintained boundaries.  Once each need is met, a person can obtain self-actualization (which we will discuss in a later post).  But for now, let’s focus on the very basic need that everyone is required to have in order to start their way up the pyramid: physiological.

Physiological needs are air, water, food, shelter, warmth, and sleep.  Do you have a roof over your head and food on your table?  Consider yourself blessed!  Not everyone has obtained this need.  Most of the clients that enter the crisis facility that I work at comes from off the street.  They were lucky to obtain three nutritious meals daily and a hot bath.  Some mentioned sleeping in unsanitary conditions, such as, under passage ways or in tents.  When these ladies arrive to the facility, we offer all physiological needs.  The first few days, the ladies are even allowed to sleep periodically throughout the day to provide rest and recovery.  You never know the importance of this need until it is gone.

“It is quite true that man lives by bread alone — when there is no bread.” – Maslow

The next time you see someone requesting assistance with food or water, assist them.  After all, we are here on this earth to bless one another, not to condemn or judge.  Stay blessed!

The Best Gift

The Best Gift

Are you in a marriage where your spouse has either walked away from the Lord or never knew him? I was the unbelieving partner when I first met my husband. So how did I get to the point where I am now? Today, I love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, and mind. I know that prayer had a lot to do with it. Let me explain. The awesome thing about God is that we have access to him through Christ.  Scripture tells us that if we ask it shall be given to us (Matthew 7:7) and if we ask in His name He will do it for us (John 14:14).  When you pray believe that God will answer you because the Bible says that whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them (Mark 11:24).  You should also give thanks to God for hearing and answering your prayers. Pray that the Lord will help you to be an uplifting example for your spouse.  Ask God to give you “the mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16 & Philippians 2:5) so that your actions will represent the Lord and your influence will be a holy one. 

Remember that Peter instructed Christian wives to witness to their unbelieving husbands through their righteous lifestyle and behavior (1 Peter 3:1-4). This can be said vice versa. We all try to take our spouse and put them in a box that they don’t always fit in like trying to fit a square into a circle, failing to realize that the only one who can change them is God. Forcing Christ on someone will never cause them to give their lives to Him, but praying for them and being the example of love that represents Christ will. I knew that my husband prayed for me. He also witnessed to me by representing what it meant to be a man of God. It was the presence of the Holy Spirit that drew me close to Christ through my husband, and made me the wife I am today. If you are praying for your spouse to please you and make you happy, try praying for your spouse to please God and watch what happens. The most precious gift you can give someone you love is the prayer that God will draw them close to Him. As you continue to pray without ceasing for your spouse also become a true representative of Christ. It is the love of Christ that draws men to Him. 




Disconnect to Reconnect

Disconnect to Reconnect

Do you find yourself scrolling constantly updated pinned interests, crushing gummies and stalking individuals via their feed?  If so, you may be addicted to just a few phone apps: Pinterest, Candy Crush and Facebook.  I know I was.  I would find myself hours upon hours numbed out on my phone.  Gosh forbid if I ran out of battery juice too.. I would even play standing up as my phone was charged with the wall outlet.  I needed to break my addiction of playing with my phone apps, so I took the drastic step of going cold turkey.

Yesterday, I removed my Scrabble, Candy Crush, Yahoo and Trivia Crack apps off my phone.  I even temporarily deactivated my personal Facebook account.  Who knows when I plan to activate it, but I decided enough was enough.  I have been on Facebook since 2004… that is 11 years!  I remember when the website was only available for certain colleges/universities… that’s how long I’ve had it.  Within the past 24 hours, my phone has been at its quietest and has kept 65% of its battery life throughout a 13 hour period.  A few times I would swipe my phone apps from page to page and remember I don’t have the app anymore.  I can say right now, at this time, I am experiencing few withdrawals.  If anything, I’m experiencing more peace.

So, why did I decide to disconnect from what has become to be known as life to some?  Well, here’s my last post on Facebook from my personal account to sum it up in a few sentences:

Family and friends,

I have come to realize that I spend too much time on my phone.  I feel as if I have been distracted by time-wasting activities.  I plan to deactivate Facebook, Candy Crush, Scrabble and any other nonsense apps on my phone.  I know to some of you, this action may be absurd.  However, I feel disconnected from true opportunities of achieving peace.  I plan to spend my time more in prayer, being present with my wonderful husband and dogs, enjoying actual books and quiet time.  I love each and every one of you and I look forward to catching up by phone calls or text messages.


Kristy Andrews

My purpose is simple: I am learning to disconnect to reconnect with my soul purpose… being closer to God.  Are you making time to disconnect from distractions to reconnect with God?  If so, how are you doing it?

Bringing the Inner Child Out

Inner ChildOn Friday, a few coworkers and I transported our clients from the crisis facility to a nearby park to enjoy the gorgeous weather.  We brought along a cooler full of water, a large jump rope, football and a kickball.  Before we started playing, we spent 10 minutes meditating.  We asked them to close their eyes and notice what they hear around them (birds, children laughing, cars passing by…), take deep breaths and smell whats around them (fresh air, cut grass…), open their eyes and see what’s around them (greenery, open fields, playground…).  My coworker told the ladies to enjoy this time to become our inner children by enjoying what’s around them, like the children that were on the playground.  The ladies dispersed and started interacting the with items that we brought with us.  As for I, I went straight to an open seat on the swing set.

As I swung, I observed every single lady having a smile on their face and laughing.  We tend to forget to enjoy our surroundings and be children when there are so many adult responsibilities.  After a rough week at the facility, I noticed each lady interacting with their peers in a loving, kind way.  It is amazing to see grownups reverting back to their child like ways – being carefree, even among stressful situations!

After a while, I joined some ladies in playing a few rounds of kick ball.  The team that I was on did not win, but there was no such things as winners versus losers, because we were just playing for fun.  When we allow ourselves to just be in the moment and enjoying life via laughter and love, there is no need for competition.  At the end of the 45 minutes, all of us ladies were exhausted, but fulfilled.

Upon returning back to the facility, numerous of the ladies requested to go back to the park again soon.  I hope that we will make this a weekly tradition, because all of us can use a 45 minute break from adulthood to revert back to childhood.  Be happy, be childlike and enjoy life to its fullest!

Do You Tithe?

Are You A Tither?

This is a question that my friends and I often talk about. Will GOD not give you all that your heart desire if you do not tithe? Many people feel that you are to give 10% of your total income back to GOD through your church. We often contemplate on ways to tithe. Many of my friends are single parents and barely have enough money to cover their monthly expenses, so how are they going to give GOD 10% of their income? I struggled with that notion for many years and have come to this conclusion. Yes you should tithe 10% but it doesn’t have to be all in money. You can tithe with your time, by serving others. There was a time when I couldn’t tithe and my pastor taught a sermon about tithing with your time. He stated that GOD owns it all and doesn’t need money. He suggested that we can tithe by serving either in the church or helping others. I now serve almost weekly at my church. For a while, I was able to tithe 10% of my income, but lately my finances has change. However, I know that GOD will continue to bless me because I am his child not because I am a tither.