30-Day Sex Challenge Summary!!!

 

            For the past few weeks I have shared different approaches (so to speak) to the 30-Day Sex Challenge. After surfing the web, I became aware of the enormous amount of information regarding this challenge. The challenges that I shared, I found the most interesting. At first I thought my husband and I would do the four challenges I shared. However, we devised a more eclectic approach doing a week from each of the four listed challenges. We still have a few days to go but I can honestly say I absolutely can see a difference in our relationship (for the good). In the beginning, I admit that I still had that “how many days are left, even though this was my idea mentality.” As a couple we began to do little things for one another, that we have done in the past but somehow got lost along the way. We made additional time to share things that went on throughout our day. We already read and pray together, but it was nice review specific scriptures. I recommend that everyone at least try one or more of the challenges.  I’m sure you will be pleased with the intimate changes after all, happy wife, happy life!!!

 

30 Day Sex Challenge Part IV!!!

This week I want to share a 30-Day Sex Challenge for Married Couples. I really found this article/guide very interesting because it incorporates intimacy with a biblical perspective. Basically you have an intimate task to perform daily along with a scripture you and your spouse are to read together. Not only this, there is a question of the day, to challenge you to be more open and honest with your spouse about your personal needs. An extra bonus, there are printable day by day pages where you can make notes. I found this article on www.tucsonrevolution.com titled 30-Day SEX Challenge: Married Guide. Here are the first few pages, please visit the site for the challenge in its entirety:

30-Day Sex Challenge: Married Guide

10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS EXPLAINED

1. Affection (the expression of love in words, cards, gifts, hugs, kisses, and courtesies; creating an environment that clearly and repeatedly expresses love).

2. Sexual Fulfillment (a sexual experience that brings out a predictably enjoyable sexual response in both of you that is frequent enough for both of you).

3. Conversation (talking about events of the day, personal feelings, and plans for the future; showing interest in your favorite topics of conversation; balancing conversation; using it to inform, investigate, and understand you; and giving you undivided attention).

4. Recreational Companionship (developing interest in your favorite recreational activities, learning to be proficient in them, and joining you in those activities).

5. Honesty and Openness (revealing positive and negative feelings, events of the past, daily events and schedule, plans for the future; not leaving a false impression; answering questions truthfully and completely).

6. An Attractive Spouse (keeping physically fit with diet and exercise, wearing hair and clothing in a way that you find attractive and tasteful).

7. Financial Support (the provision of financial resources to house, feed, and clothe your family at a standard of living acceptable to you, but avoiding travel and working hours that are unacceptable to you).

8. Domestic Support (creation of a home environment for you that offers a refuge from the stresses of life; management of the home and care of the children—if any are at home—including but not limited to cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, housecleaning).

9. Family Commitment (scheduling sufficient time and energy for the moral and educational development of your children; reading to them, taking them on frequent outings, developing the skill in appropriate child-training methods and discussing those methods with you; avoiding any childtraining methods or disciplinary action that does not have your enthusiastic support).

10. Admiration (respecting, valuing and appreciating you clearly and often).

Your Married Needs:

List your top 2 needs from the emotional needs questionnaire. Then give your spouse specific instructions as to how to meet those needs.

 

Your Needs

Ex.) Affection

 

Details: Hug me in the morning and call me during the day.

 

1) ____________________

 

Details:________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

2) ____________________

 

Details:________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Your Spouse’s Needs

 

Have your spouse write their top needs and details below.

 

1) ___________________

 

Details:________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

2) _______________________________________________________

 

Details:________________________________________________________________________________________________________

RECOMMENDED READING

These are a couple of resources we recommend for further study.

• His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

By Willard F. Harley, Jr.

• www.marriagebuilders.com

Details on the next page…

30-Day Sex Challenge Part III!!!

This week I want to share the 30-Day Sex Challenge that was shown on the television show, The Doctors. This challenge details a week by week of what should and should not be shared. The actual act of intercourse does not occur every day but the act of being intimate is shared daily.

The Doctors’ 30-Day Sex Challenge
Want to have the best sex of your life? Take The Doctors’ 30-Day Sex Challenge!

Week One
The goal of week one is to enjoy each other without expectation, and that means no sex! During the first week of The Doctors’ 30-Day Sex Challenge, you must refrain from all sexual contact. The only body parts that are allowed to touch for the first week are hands and feet.

“Separate in that bed and touch toes,” Dr. Walsh says. “During the day, hold hands. There will be no backrubs, no neck rubs, no genital contact.”

You also must commit to exercising three times a week. Exercise boosts endorphins and your self-confidence, which will make you and your partner feel sexy. 

“[These steps] will help build up anticipation and intimacy,” OB/GYN Dr. Lisa Masterson says. “It helps you build up that craving.”

Week Two
In week two, you have two assignments! 


First, try an adrenaline-boosting activity together — take a roller-coaster ride or go rock climbing, bungee jumping or kayaking. Studies show that increasing adrenaline boosts your libido and the bond with your partner.

Next, have sex somewhere new. Week two is meant to get you and your spouse out of the rut you may have fallen into by adding some adventure into your marriage and sex life.

Week Three
After a week of flirting and a week of adventure, it’s time to get down to business. Week three is about making a real effort to pleasure your partner. Satisfy your spouse at least three times during this week and try one new sexual position. Make sure to communicate your wants and needs, which fosters intimacy.

Week Four
Week four’s assignment is simple: Have sex every day!  

“No more excuses. It’s time to get it on,” plastic surgeon Dr. Drew Ordon says. “I’m talking a buffet. Anywhere and everywhere!”

I must say that I found this challenge very interesting. I like that it involves different ways to bond with your partner.

30-Day Sex Challenge Part II!!!

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Last week I shared a religious perspective to the 30-Day Sex Challenge. To recap, a Florida pastor challenged the married members to have sex for 30 days with their spouse and asked the single members to abstain from sex for 30 days. The purpose of the assignment is to enhance the couple’s relationship with one another as well as their union with God. Naturally, I became intrigued by this topic and did further research. I figured there are many wives who can and have come up with several reasons to not have sex and this does not even have to be daily…. long day at work, dealing with the kids, yada yada yada….. 30 days seems like a long time…especially if you are looking at this challenge as a task. Once I began to read and understand the reasoning for the challenge, my perception of it being “the task of the day” changed. How far are you willing to go to strengthen your relationship with your spouse/significant other? This week I want to share what occurred when a wife proposed this challenge to her husband. The article was written by Ryan Buxton on HuffPost Live, titled:

What Happened When My Husband And I Had Sex Every Day For A Month

After a Reddit post claiming to be a spreadsheet of all the excuses a wife gave her husband to get out of sex went viral last week, HuffPost Live’s Caitlyn Becker hosted a panel of women who discussed how marriage changes intimacy. One of the panelists had quite the success story.

Megan Conley talked about her blog post called Five Reasons You Should Have Sex With Your Husband Every Day, and while she told HuffPost Live that the post’s title was “kind of facetious” because it’s more about being intimate daily than actually having sex, she said she was committed to that idea in her own marriage.

“I go and work out every single day. I go to Zumba and humiliate myself in front of 45 women every single day because I decided my body is worth it and I’d like to wear a swimsuit at some point, so why can’t I put 15 minutes a day toward my relationship?” Conley said. And her spouse was more than willing to oblige. It was this challenge that my husband very happily accepted, so we decided to do that for a month, and sometimes it was 15 minutes and sometimes it was several hours, and it was fantastic,” she said. More frequent sex improved their relationship not only physically, but emotionally was well. Conley said that when her father died in February, she and her husband’s dutiful work on their relationship allowed them to “see each other’s souls” and communicate openly to help Conley heal. “As a woman, when I saw sex as something that strengthened my relationship, it became much more interesting to me,” she said.

In this challenge, although they did not have intercourse daily, they were intimate with one another, thus strengthening their bond to one another. I ALWAYS have something to do but I agree if I can find the time to go jog three to four times a week, I can put forth a little more effort in making time for my relationship!!!

 

30-Day Sex Challenge!!!

Surfing the web this week….I came up with this interesting topic, having sex with your spouse for a month. As a woman, naturally I was intrigued because I have never had sex with my spouse for 30 consecutive days in a row. Giving it further thought, I began to wonder how many married women have. As I read these articles I began to subconsciously come up with reasons why I could never complete such a task but the more I read to more I realized it’s not just about SEX!!! Every article defined this challenge as strengthening the emotional connection between couples and should not be viewed as a task. Although the challenge assignments (so to speak) changed from site to site, the end result remained the same. Over the next few weeks I will be sharing the challenges I found most interesting:

From a religious point of view my first thought in regards to sex is procreation purposes….”Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). However this is not the sole purpose. Spouse’s are to submit to one another to aid in strengthening a physical and emotional bond…”The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

The first article was published on the CBS website back in 2008.

Pastor Issues “30- Day Sex Challenge”

The pastor of a southwest Florida church opened many eyes and ears Sunday when he said he wants married couples in the congregation to — have sex for 30 days in a row. Oh — and he wants singles to steer clear of such frolicking for the same length of time. Head pastor Paul Wirth of Relevant Church in Ybor City, outside Tampa, says his “30-Day Sex Challenge” is one way of taking on the nation’s 50-percent divorce rate. “About ten years ago,” With explained on The Early Show Wednesday, “my wife (of 18 years) and I were struggling in our marriage, and we realized that we needed something that was going to help us in our marriage, and we found this information from Dr. Willard Harley about learning each others’ emotional needs. And we began to study it and apply it to our marriage, and it revolutionized our marriage, and we know that, you know, God is the one who talks about love and authors love, and he knows that he wants us to be intimate and connected with each other on a daily basis.” Wirth told CBS News he believes most people go into marriage “without really knowing each other emotionally, without knowing their partner’s emotional needs, and this (the challenge) is a way for people to discover their greatest needs — both married and non-married couples.” He cited a recent study out that found that 20 million Americans who are married have sex fewer than 10 times a year. “People’s jobs, houses, kids and other things get in the way,” he says. “I think men really need to reevaluate their wife’s needs. We so often come home and kick off our shoes and pick up the remote and don’t offer to help with dinner, don’t offer to help with the kids — and then we just expect fireworks in the bedroom. But we need to meet (our wives’ needs) on intimate levels.” The reaction has been “overwhelmingly positive,” Wirth says. “Both married and single members are excited about it. My wife has fielded a bunch of e-mails saying that it’s opened a line of communication in some marriages that they haven’t had since they were married.” Among the couples taking part: congregants Doug and Lorena Webber. “We’re sitting in church one day, and we heard about this challenge,” Doug told Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith, “and we said, ‘That’s perfect. We can do anything for 30 days!’ And the more you dig into it, we’re, like, ‘We can certainly do this for 30 days! ‘ ” Lorena says, “We’re just trying to figure out a way to meet each others’ emotional needs, and that’s the biggest thing about this. It’s more than physical. It’s about getting to know each other again.” “It’s much more than the physical aspect,” Doug agreed, “so, it’s really helping us refocus on our marriage.”

Who’s up for the challenge?

 

Talk Rituals: The Most Important Marriage Ritual of All

Rituals in marriage are the things that happen often, are planned together and special mostly to you and your spouse.  Read the Rituals in Marriage and 3 Types of Rituals in Marriage posts in this series to learn more about rituals.

One of the most common communication techniques taught to improve marriage is that couples should have 15 minutes of uninterrupted conversation time daily sometimes called a Talk Ritual.  Not many couples reach this goal, especially when they have children.  Those who aren’t married can’t fathom that ever being a problem, because when you are dating everything is new and often not taken for granted.  Add our over-technology driven world with iPods, tablets, television, etc. and it gets even more rare.  Talking to each other sleepily in the bed or while watching tv doesn’t really count as a “talk ritual” for connection in most situations.

The first thing to do when starting the talk ritual is to go to your private, planned space with each other. This includes setting a regular time and place your talk to happen each day.  It could involve talking while having a cup of coffee, ice cream, etc.

Secondly is to engage in the actual uninterrupted talking.  This talking should not include “family business management”.  Things like problem solving or issues that will definitely cause an argument are family business management.  Doing that can cause one or both to avoid sitting down for the talk.  It’s a check in for connecting with your spouse not dealing with hard issues.

Last is the ending stage.  There should be a mutual knowledge of when the talk will end.  If you meet in a restaurant it could be when the server brings the check.  That way you both know and no one ends up getting cut off.    This avoids having to negotiate the ending which could lead to conflict.

What are the rituals in your marriage or relationship?  Telling us about them may help other couples searching for ways to connect.  Here are the guidelines:

    1. List one ritual for each response (feel free to submit more than once!)
    2. Why you do it, how it started, how long you’ve been doing it and any obstacles and backup plans for doing it if you miss it.

Thanks for reading.  Read all parts of this topic by clicking the links above.