The divorce rate in America is extremely high. It is at 50%. That means that every couple that gets married has a 50/50 chance that they will not make. We all know that anytime something has 50/50 odds… it is a big gamble. No wonder many people or opting to get married later in life or not at all. There are many things contributing to this discrepancy. One is a lack of communication. We have become a nation built on fast pace and technology. People want what they want and they want it now. There is no communication, no reasoning, no compromise, and no empathy. Anytime a person feels like they are not being heard or their need are not being meet…they leave. Another major issue is we, as a country, no longer value love. No one wants to hold hands anymore. People don’t sing about love only about sex. Couples do not court anymore. If you are not ‘putting out’ by the second date in most cases there will not be a third. Not only has love all but vanished, but so has pride integrity, and respect. Men are degrading women and women are degrading themselves. People want to talk about how much we have evolved, and about how there is no reason to be stuck in the 50’s. The problem with this way of thinking is that people seem to think that there is no progress unless there is a complete change. There is nothing wrong with dating or passing notes. What happened to chivalry and opening doors for women? Why is holding hands and romance a crime. These things collectively make up love and if properly executed will create longer marriages. Marriages are supposed to be til death do us part and put together by God. He knew that a marital life would not be without its trial and that’s why vows say until ‘for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part’. We must get back to the basics when couples stuck out the hard times because of love and commitment.
I love my job as a marriage counselor and praise God everyday for being able to do it. One of the downsides of my life’s work is dealing with divorce or pending divorce. Divorce is a destructive force with a root of selfishness and immaturity. Marriage is not about two separate people taking care of their own agendas. It hurts God, it hurts your children ( even adult ones), the family and the church. A bad childhood and bad relationships are not an excuse to treat someone badly. According to various clients justifiable reasons include: boredom, sexual incompatibility, pornography, financial selfishness, missing an ex, emotional affairs I can go on. Everyone of those “reasons” is about selfishness and immaturity. The children affected by this always wonder why can’t adults be nice or considerate like they are told to be. Adults be adult. If you are facing issues in your marriage don’t wait until the last minute to get help, don’t look outside your marriage, don’t start “alternative” lifestyles. Go to a professional, a minister, a mentor couple, a group, something and get help. Pray together about improving your marriage. And when God sends you the help you need, grow up and listen! Stop making things harder than they have to be. Leaving usually does nothing but spread the passion, selfishness and immaturity. Little will change in your new relationship. Why? Because without God and other interventions you are still you and likely to carry the same destruction and insecurity with you.
Divorce. The word alone is considered taboo in the American culture; nobody wants to hear it, see it or experience it, but divorce has been prevalent since the 1980s. Just recently has the divorce rate dropped from 50% to 40% with a prediction of a lower percentage in the future (“Divorce Rates in 2013”, 2013). Until then, we have to face it: Divorce is real.
As a daughter of recently divorced parents (as of August 2013), I continue to face the reality that my parents are no longer a couple. I now consider myself belonging to the staggering statistics of failed parental marriages; I am not alone in this group. Numerous others are in the same pool and I have noticed two types of thinking that occurs: 1. I will never get married, because it only ends in divorce anyhow or 2. I am going to marry and prove to my parents (and myself) that marriage can last forever. Both of these thoughts sound great, but how beneficial are they?