Being Single is not that Bad


Being Single is not that Bad

There are many things to love and enjoy about being single. Being single is not a bad thing. However, as with anything, being single is not always fun or easy.

There are cultural and societal pressures/judgments/beliefs associated with being single that often weigh heavily on single people. In our culture there is a very real pressure, whether spoken or not, to be married; an expectation that at a certain point in life, people should want to be married. However, it is not always the external pressure or presumptions that are the hardest for single people to bear or the most dangerous. Often, the toughest challenges and most significant pressures of being single come from within.

Many of us internalize the external pressures and expectations around us — we adopt or over-identify with the issues of other people and society. We aim to please or meet the expectations of others rather than focus on our own expectations and desires. If enough people ask, “What is wrong with you?” because you aren’t married, eventually, some folks will internally conclude that something is wrong with them because they are not married. Who knows how many family, religious or geographical cultural beliefs are tattooed on our lives to our own detriment.

One of the dangers of internalizing the beliefs and pressures of others is when those feelings start to drive life decisions. I think this happens most often when the internalized pressure to marry mixes with the occasional loneliness and/or fear that comes along with being single.

Believe it or not, your single years will be some of the most beautiful and wonderful times of your life! Being single is an important part of the journey of life, and an especially important part of the journey toward marriage.

Leave a Reply