Living and loving in a truly mature way (in an adult marriage) means letting insights transform the ways in which you relate to one another. To do this couples must learn to communicate their needs effectively. It requires a new language of love, a form of communication based on insight and emotional understanding. Finding the words, the right words, that truly express formerly hidden feelings can have a powerfully transforming impact on your marriage.
Where there is contact there is friction, and in marriage goodwill is always being put to the test! An angry marriage in particular, erodes the spirit of goodwill spouses feel toward one another. The erosion of goodwill takes time in an angry marriage. When we love someone we don’t just wake up one morning and discover it disappeared overnight. It is usually slow and goes unnoticed for a long time. Because it’s such a slow process couples might not even see it happening.
Read my next post where I will explore 10 early signs that goodwill may be leaving your marriage and that anger is setting in. Examine your marriage, the real with yourself and see if you’re missing important signals. Most importantly do something about it.
Do you know a couple in an angry marriage, are you that couple? I would love to hear from you.
The information from this post comes from the book The Angry Marriage by Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D.