9 December 2013
Comments: 1

naturalwmbaldmanAccording to Thomas Holman’s research predicting marital success, there are four broad premarital predictors of marital quality and stability.  They are:

Family Background

* Contributes to a high level of marital satisfaction if both spouses come from emotionally healthy families.

* The opposite is true if both spouses come from emotionally unhealthy families.

* For both men and women, closeness to fathers improves their marriages.

Individual Characteristics – these include personality, attitudes, beliefs and values

* Women who feel good about their physical attractiveness also feels more successful communicating with men, which leads men to draw closer, which often leads to marriage.

* Men who feel physically attractive don’t necessarily see themselves as better communicators, an they are usually more hesitant to marry.

Couple Interaction

* The longer a couple knows each other before the marriage the better.

* Premarital pregnancy  is related to future marital problems.

* Living together before marriage also relates to low marital quality.

Current Society Views

* If the couple’s race or gender has a negative or controversial meaning in society marital satisfaction could go down.

* Parental support is also related to marital quality.

The issues that you have during your engagement will be magnified in your marriage if they aren’t dealt with.   Don’t stick your head in the sand and believe that a magic wand will be waved when you walk down the aisle.  Consider pre-marital counseling to address your issues.  Premarital Counseling is not used to change your mind, it used to open your mind.  To prepare you for what your marriage will really look like.  Negative behaviors can be changed, if a person is willing to do the work.

Have you discussed these things with your financee? If not why.  I would love to hear from you. 

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Megan, a native of Kansas City, Kansas is an empty nest parent of three adult children Ayanna, Jonathan and Isiah. Megan is a Christian and active in ministry at her church Cornerstone Baptist Church, in Arlington, TX. She is currently a Doctoral student working toward a Ph.D. in Marriage & Family Therapy at Texas Wesleyan University. Her personal interests include independent film, music and marriage enrichment. Megan is the co-founder of the Minority Behavioral Health Provider Networking Group along with colleague Cynthia Thompson.

One response on “Will We Have a Good Marriage?

  1. Tim Cox says:

    Wow! “The issues that you have during your engagement will be magnified in you marriage if they aren’t dealt with.” This statement can save so many relationships. I would hate to have to deal with fornication at its maturity stage. I’m with you Megan. Let’s get counseling!

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