What We Want vs. What We Need

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What We Want versus What We Need?

In an ideal world we would satisfy our search for a significant other, with someone who fulfills all of our wants and needs. This would be our Mr. or Ms. Right.  Does such a person exist? Are our standards set to high that no one will ever be able to fill these shoes? Does this longing cause a sense of desperation and we begin to settle more for wants over needs?  For example, you may want someone who is spontaneous and buys you nice things but what you need is a partner with job stability.

Are you willing to settle for the bungee jumper who changes jobs three times a year or, are you willing to work on spontaneity with a partner who has job security?

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2 responses on “What We Want vs. What We Need

  1. I believe we all start with what we “want” out of a relationship and then proceed to narrow down what we “need” out of it. For example, when I met my husband, he did not have all that I wanted in a partner, but discovered throughout the relationship that he had what I needed out of a spouse. What I wanted was someone who was at least 6′ tall, dark skin, successful in a career, loves to travel, spontaneous and show tons of PDA (public display of affection). Did I receive all that I wanted? Definitely not.. he is same height as me (5’9”/5’10”), fair skin, just started a new career path after leaving a successful one for 10 years, a home body and shows minimal PDA. What did I gain though from choosing a person that did not fit my wants? My needs were met: he’s committed, caring, loving, creative and most of all, trustworthy. Moral of my comment: Needs are important over wants, but don’t settle for anyone without knowing what you truly want.

  2. Melissa Walker says:

    Everything is a compromise! Sometimes the very things that draw us to someone are the things that drive us crazy.

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