If you are having problems in your marriage I would like to encourage you to fix your focus solidly on yourself the next month. Attempts to get your partner to change invite defensiveness. No one likes being told they’re doing things wrong or, far worse, that they are a bad person. Instead of pointing your finger at all the things they are doing wrong start focusing on what YOU could do differently. If both of you are seeking to do your own upgrades, the marriage can become what you both want.