Work is the #1 breeding ground for affairs. In the past this statement only included men but with more women in the workplace, women are just as likely to cheat with someone they work with. The cause of this is most likely opportunity and time spent. Most people spend more hours at work than they do quality time with their spouse. In my work as a marriage counselor I have never (so far) met anyone who set out to have an affair. Most of the time it starts with a cup of coffee or lunch. Emotional affairs are an especially dangerous part of many modern marriages. The tragedy in this that a spouse has most likely mentioned their discomfort with a friendship, but the offending partner refuses to set a boundary. And before you know it, oops it just happened!
How can you avoid workplace affairs from starting?:
1. Keep good boundaries. When your work friend starts discussing their relationships or dating issues, or begins to ask about yours, limit your contact immediately. As a matter of fact send them this article and they can schedule online if they need someone “Who understands me.” Back away from that mess and protect the sanctity of your marriage.
2. Display pictures of your spouse and family at work. If they want to try to be a ho, at least discourage them by making them look at your happy family everyday.
3. Wear your wedding ring to work EVERYDAY. There is no excuse for constantly forgetting your ring when you go to work. You are fooling yourself, but you are not fooling God. You are preparing for a possible affair, just in case, you decide to have one.
4. Call your spouse from work everyday, just to check in. There is no reason not to talk to each other all day with the kind of technology we have available. If your spouse has expressed some discomfort about a work friend and you really want to be accountable to your marriage, pay attention to how your friend acts when you appear to be happily talking to your spouse.
5. Have lunch weekly with your spouse if at all possible. If you want to spend time during lunch with your friend from work, invite your spouse along. Make that tramp look him or her in the face on a regular basis. The constant contact will display your solidarity as a couple, and send their focus to the next married friend. Oh you thought you were special, PLEASE, they are on to the next one.
6. If you have lunch with a c0-worker or co-workers let your spouse know. Don’t casually mention it later and make it look like you were trying to be sneaky. Especially don’t let them find out on social media after you and your co-workers are tagging your location and taking pics of your food.
7. Talk to your spouse, tell them about your day. Put the same effort into communicating with them as you do with your work friend. If you are having trouble talking to your spouse talk to a happily married, same sex friend. They may be able to give you Godly, wise counsel on making your own marriage happy.
8. Make your friend a friend of the couple. If you can’t invite them to dinner at your house with your family, or they don’t show when you do, they have ulterior motives. If you refuse to acknowledge that, force the issue or cut it off, so do you.
If you are defensive when asked about your relationship or refuse to end friendships your spouse asked you to, you are already crossing a line into an affair.
Your emotional/physical affair is taking place in a world of fantasy. They only like everything about you because they don’t live with you everyday. So you ruin your marriage that may have just needed more attention for a relationship with your work friend. Guess what? It might start off all good but eventually you leaving your clothes everywhere, your moodiness, selfishness and sexual techniques will get old. All of that weave, extra makeup and sleeping in pretty clothes wears off. What did you end up with? Somebody who you didn’t even really know what they looked like because you only saw them at work with all that extra crap on.
What does the word (Bible) say?:
Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Don’t get mad at me God said it…