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Ending Jealousy Part II

Dealing With Jealousy You Don’t Deserve Jealous usually comes from the inability to control another person.  Women may become jealous when their husband notices other women.  However they need to keep in mind that men are visual and notice women the way we may notice a great pair of shoes.  That doesn’t mean that they […]


Ending Jealousy Part I

When your spouse tells you what you what to do, it feels controlling.  When people take orders from their spouses they are contributing to their own domination.  Despite threats to punish disobedience, they will most likely pout, get mad or withdraw.  The best solution to change and stop domination you need to what you need […]


29 May 2012
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Positive Deflection Techniques for the Strained Marriage

THROWBACK THURSDAY Many people live with a spouse that is overly critical of them.  However the injured spouse can use these criticisms as a way to grow as an individual.  If you use these techniques in a non-threatening way the criticizer may have to actually focus on things they truly feel about themselves when they’re […]


29 May 2012
Comments: 0

Positive Deflection Techniques for the Strained Marriage

Many people live with a spouse that is overly critical of them.  However the injured spouse can use these criticisms as a way to grow as an individual.  If you use these techniques in a non-threatening way the criticizer may have to actually focus on things they truly feel about themselves when they’re focusing on […]


Quit Talking So Much

Nagging and lecturing is a sign that you are more focused on the changes your spouse can make instead of doing some self reflection.  You may be expressing your feelings but after so much of this they may be tuning you out. A very common example is: A woman had been complaining for years about […]


STOP!

If something you’re doing to your wife isn’t working, STOP!  Many couples treat each other worse than anyone else in the world.  It seems ridiculous to treat someone badly on a daily basis and expect things to improve.  Or to think they want to have sex with you after you’ve cursed them out earlier that day.  […]


Pretend The Change Has Already Happened

Speak life into your marriage.  When you feel like complaining about something your mate does, don’t.  Evaluate the state of your marriage and decide if that negative comment you were about to say is worth the loss of your marriage.  Assume good will of your spouse.  Instead of seeing your husband’s silence as a lack […]


Change One Thing

Many couples struggle because they don’t set realistic goals to repair their relationships.  It’s unrealistic to believe an overnight change can occur after several years of disharmony.  I often advise clients to focus on changing one negative interaction at a time. Here are a few real life examples: Instead of responding to your spouse defensively, hear what they […]

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