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Active Listening Techniques

During an emotional situation couples are both trying to be heard and get their point across.  Usually both people are preparing their next defense or tuning the other person out.  Active listening steps: Pray together before talking about a touchy subject. Make eye contact, nod and listening noises like “uh huh…hmm…” When you don’t seem […]


Marriage Communication Roadblock #12

Comparing, putting down, dismissing. Ex: “Why can’t you be like (insert name)’s wife/husband?….” (My mother cooked potatoes this way…, My father could build a house…)


Marriage Communication Roadblock #11

Condescending, excusing, placating. Ex: “You are over-reacting, suck it up….” (Aww that’s too bad…, Take a pill or something…).


Marriage Communication Roadblock #10

Joking using sarcasm, kidding, teasing, making light of. Ex: “Why don’t you just shut up?….” (Stop crying…, So what makes you so smart?…).


Marriage Communication Roadblock #9

Diverting, avoiding, by-passing, disagreeing, shifting, silent treatment Ex: “Let’s not talk about it now?….” (Not at the dinner table…, That reminds me…).


Marriage Communication Roadblock #8

Questioning, probing, cross-examining, prying, interrogating Ex: “Why have you been spending so much time on the phone with Andre?….” (Who…Where…When…How…What…?).


Marriage Communication Roadblock #7

Diagnosing, psychoanalyzing. reading-in, offering insights, interpreting. Ex: “Normal people don’t do things like that….” (You’re just trying to get attention…, I know what you need…).


Marriage Communication Roadblock #6

Evaluating, judging negatively, disapproving, blaming, name-calling. Ex: “Be a man/woman!….” (What’s wrong with you…., The house looks like crap…).

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