Do you have anger but cannot explain why you are angry. This is just one way the spirit of fear can control your life. Some of the other symptoms of fear are phobias, lack of trust, doubt, intimidation, nightmares, anxiety and stress, rejection, torment, heart attacks, and the fear of the unknown. Psalm 56:3-4 says, “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? 2Timothy states that, “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind”. “I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all of my fears” (Psalm 34:4). God states in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.
If you are struggling with the spirit of fear I urge you to speak the word of God over your circumstance. There is noting that is impossibly for God! Rebuke the spirit of fear that has been distressing you. Commend the spirit to go in Jesus Name! Luke 10:19 states, “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing by any means will harm you.” You do not have to struggle. We are here to help you. We are only a phone call away. If you are unsure about counseling, give us a call and schedule a free consultation and see if we are a good fit. God Bless You!
We have all been told at one time or another to “breathe” and it may have seemed like our concerns at the time were being brushed off by the giver of that advice. We should all be experts at breathing by now, since we’ve been doing it from birth and it’s automatic after all. You may ask, why should I give any thought to my breathing now? I have come to realize the value of diaphragmatic breathing and what is referred to as the relaxation response. It is simple and basic but equally relevant and powerful.
A father is the most important person in a girl’s life. He is the one that shows her how a man is supposed to treat, love and provide for her. Every girl wants to feel so secure and loved in such a way they can tell a boy, ” If you hurt me I am going to tell my DADDY!” So why is so many girls growing up with absent fathers? I think this generation of fathers did not grow up with a father of their own, so they don’t understand how to become one.
For too many years women have had to be both mother and father to their children. How can we change the pattern of behavior so we have great fathers for our children. We can start by having real men mentor our young males. As women, we will go above and beyond the call of duty to care for our children, but we can’t teach a boy how to become a man. We have to allow our boys to be mentored by strong men that will lead and guide them in the right direction. If you don’t have a positive man in your life for your son, try getting into a good church or organization that has a mentoring program.
Once a boy becomes a man, he takes on the responsibility in caring for his family. He understands that he is not only the most important person in his family or daughter’s life, but he is now teaching his son how to become a man by being present in his life.
Daughter’s need men to teach them how to love and respect themselves. It can help them with loving themselves and not allowing a man to manipulate them. If we want your daughters to have a good father in her life, we first have to love and respect ourselves. We can not expect a man to love us if we don’t love and cherish ourselves.
I recently attended Women to Women conference regarding women working with men who batter. It was awe-inspiring that there were quite a few of us female facilitators for a Battering Intervention Prevention program (BIP). Sitting at a small table of 10 ladies maximum, we discussed our roles as women facilitators of men’s battering groups. The conference could have lasted more than the 4.5 CEU hours, because we had so much to discuss. In the discussion, we talked about how men perceive us as women, as well as how us, women, perceive men. Somehow society places us in a “man box” and “woman box”. It’s a way to categorize and make sense of our surroundings, but these boxes do not have to have solid lines (and should not). So, what is in the “man box” and “woman box”?
aggressive, don’t show emotions, never back down, get the last word, get the last punch, don’t be a pussy, don’t be gay, man/head of the house, provider…
submissive, emotional, place yourself on the back burner, don’t compete, caregiver, belongs at home, get behind your man, cook, clean…
The lists can go on and on with both of these boxes on how each gender should act or their role. When a man steps out of the “man box” and a woman steps out of the “woman box” they are viewed as anomalies, or abnormal. After all, men aren’t suppose to show emotions… they might be caught by the “men police” or women are not meant for CEO status, unless she did sexual favors.
My biggest question to society is why penalize and shame those that step outside of our gender boxes? Embrace and support one another in their own discovery. Show each other that it is okay to step outside of these boxes that society has defined us in and create your own box. What does your box look like? Are you letting others define who you should be? I’ll leave you with this encouraging video of knowing who you are and to embrace yourself, regardless of what society says…
Why do people find it so hard to say “No”? It is as if we will receive severe consequences for stating a simple two letter word. However, stating “no” to someone, is the start of setting boundaries of what is acceptable for you.
Setting boundaries is important to protect ourselves, including those closest to us. If you were to constantly say “yes” to requests that you find impractical, unreasonable or unmanageable, you will wear yourself thin. How would you be available to help those that you have said “yes” to, if you are thinned out?
You are important and boundaries (and limitations) are important. Find out how much you’re able to have on your plate before considering a “yes” to someone’s request. If you feel that you are depleted, say “NO”. The most important thing to remember is this: When you are saying “no”, you are actually saying “yes” to yourself. Be kind to yourself.