Laws of Attraction

Some singles are in a committed relationship and others are hoping that Cupid will strike his arrow and they will attract the right person into their life.  Instead of dating blindly, here are some laws of attraction to study while waiting for Cupid to hit his mark.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

Obviously, we are initially, romantically attracted to the physical, the first thing that draws our attention.  Let’s be clear.  This is important.  Physical attraction includes anything from good hygiene and fitness to a great smile.

MENTAL ATTRACTION

Once we are drawn physically, intellectual compatibility is important in igniting a friendship and sustaining a relationship.  Fulfilling conversations and mutual interests add to the initial physical attraction.

SPIRITUAL ATTRACTION

You’ve now established that you both are physically and mentally attracted to one another.  Spiritual attraction is one step deeper.  Do we share a similar commitment to serving others, God, and spiritual growth?  Do their words match their actions?  Are our moral codes on the same level?

ECONOMICAL ATTRACTION

Financial stressors can be challenging.  You’re a saver, your mate is a spender.  You want to help your family in a crisis, but your mate disagrees.  Your mate wants to wait on the sale date, you want to buy now.  Do you and your mate share similar ideals of financial security and responsibility?

 

What other laws of attraction can you think of?

From Anger to Love

From Anger to Love

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.  -Proverbs 16:32

Being selfish is one way we can become irritable. I remember reading somewhere that some people are like lemons: when life squeezes them, they pour out a sour response.  Some are more like peaches: when the pressure is on, the result is still sweet. Which one are you? When a person is easily angered then he or she should look at insecurity or selfishness in their life because that is where love is supposed to rule.

Selfishness can also present itself in lust, bitterness, and pride.  When you lust you are being ungrateful for what you have and you want something that is forbidden. The Bible says in James 4:1-3 that when your heart is lustful it will easily become frustrated and angered. All of these things can never be satisfied. Letting love enter your heart can help you take the focus off of you.

Love will help you forgive. It will help you be grateful. It helps you prioritize your relationships. Love helps you lower stress and release the “venom” that can build inside of you.  The Bible can help us in so many ways. It teaches us to let our love guide our relationships. It also teaches us to pray through our anxieties. Take inventory of your life and find out what angers and irritates you? If you find yourself overwhelmed give us a call!

Can You Love After Losing a Love One?

Can You Love After Losing a Love One?

Losing the love of your life is a gut wrenching event that is hard to process.  The only way some people can cope with the loss is by blocking the pain out. So many times when something so traumatic happens to us, our subconscious finds a way to block it so we can continue to function in our day to day lives. Do you think you are really functioning or are you just going through the motions? How can you learn to open your heart for love if you have not dealt with the heartache you had endure?

Do you think GOD wants you to be alone for the rest of your life? I believe that GOD will give you someone else for you to give and receive love.  Although it is hard to understand why GOD takes our love ones away, but he still wants us to love again. There will never be anyone to replace the love you lost, but GOD gives us the ability to allow our heart to heal and make room for someone else. Some people may feel that if they love again they are replacing their love one. I  believe that GOD allows our hearts to grow where we can keep a part of our heart for the love one we lost, but allow a different part to grow and love someone else. You don’t have to stop loving someone to more forward in your life to love again. If you trust GOD with all of your heart, he will show you how to love again.

If you are feeling lost and afraid to love again, please give me a call so I can assist you in moving forward in your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Love Dare

Toda's Love Dare

First Corinthians 13:4-6 states thatLove is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Tell them ” I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.” Love is a choice!

Unhelpful Thinking Styles – Part III

unhelpful thinking styles part iii

In this post, we will discuss the last four of the ten unhelpful thinking styles that all of us, humans, have at one time or another experienced.  When reading these unhelpful thinking styles, remember it is good to acknowledge when these occur, because then we are able to change them into a style that is more beneficial for us in the future.  Don’t be harsh on yourself… you are not alone in these thinking styles!

7. Overgeneralization.

This thinking occurs when an instance from your past or present determines all of your current and future beliefs.  For example, you may be frustrated with your spouse for not taking out the garbage, so you state “You never take out the garbage!  All of you men/women are the same!”  When using never, you are stating that your spouse has never taken the garbage out since you’ve been with them.  Are you comparing your spouse to others that may have done the same action? Has there ever been a time where he/she has?  If so, then you have discounted your spouse’s ability and blanketed your frustration with “you never”.  Other keywords in this category include: always, all, never and every.  Make sure to check for overgeneralizations in statements to your spouse, children, family, friends, etc.  They can lead to emotions, such as, hurt, disappointment, fear and depression.

8. Labeling.

This unhelpful thinking style is similar to overgeneralization.  The difference between the two are this: labeling is based on the individual’s specific behavior, while overgeneralization is based on someone’s behavior and carries on to others.  An example of labeling may be this: “I am such an idiot!  I should have known that answer.  Why did I question myself?”  Are you being harsh on yourself for a minor situation?  Labeling involves negativity.  Take the label off of you and/or others, as human beings we all make mistakes!  Making mistakes helps us grow and know more in the future.

9. Emotional Reasoning.

Do you view situations, yourself, and/or others on the way you are feeling?  If so, you are using this unhelpful thinking style!  With this style, we take what we are feeling as evidence for the truth.  For example, do you find yourself feeling anxious about a job interview?  Do you state to yourself “I know that I’m going to bomb this interview”?  If you are feeling anxiety and stating that phrase, then you already set yourself up for possible failure.  Do not let your feelings determine your outcome.  Gain confidence and know that you got this!  After all, FEAR = Future Events Appearing Real.

10. Magnification and Minimization.

Imagine yourself with a pair of binoculars.  When you place them on your face, what seemed so far away now appears closer and bigger.  When we view our self as miniscule and worthless, while we view others as grand and full of worth, we are using magnification and minimization.  Discounting your worth for achievements has negative effects.  For example, “I do not deserve such a loving, respectable spouse.  After all, it will never work out right, because I’m not worthy of them.”  Give yourself credit!  You obviously are worthy of that individual’s love, otherwise they would not be with you.  Putting yourself down does not equate to humility or humbleness.  Take off those binoculars and start viewing your self as equally worthy as others.  After all, God does not make mistakes!

I hope looking at these ten unhelpful thinking styles (information from Centre for Clinical Intervention website – http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au) assist you in improving your self-worth, because you are worthy!  If you notice yourself taking on any of these unhelpful thinking styles, step back and examine the truth about them.  Is there more faults than truth?  If so, spin it around… you deserve better!  Take care of yourselves and God bless.