I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.

I was recently having a conversation with some of my married and/or in a committed relationship girlfriends regarding financial infidelity.  We all agreed from time to time we hide certain things that we have purchased…..does not seem like a big deal….right? Well, then you have to ask yourself, if it is not a big deal why are you hiding it? For most, we just did not want to hear our spouses go on about over spending or spending unnecessarily. When put into prospective, we should not hide our financial expenditures from our spouses and vice versa; especially since finances is one of the leading causes of divorce. Is that new shirt really worth your marriage?  As a couple you have to stop thinking as an “I” and start thinking as a “We”. Usually this is easier said than done….especially if you get married later in life….old habits are hard to break.  You also need to identify your spending role….Meaning are you frugal, buying only the bare necessities or are you extravagant in your spending? Once you have discovered each others roles, as a couple you need to set goals and guidelines for spending. For example, my husband is frugal with most things but he splurges on golf equipment and our kiddos….oh yes, and meeee; me on the other hand am somewhat of the spendthrift….I know what’s needed to make our household run smoothly and I get it but I also add that new shirt or must have pair of jeans. So as a couple we had to compromise, compromise, compromise!!! Luckily, we found something that worked for us. Yes, do i go to the store and make a purchase and tell my husband later…….absolutely….if I remember! I should however, be sharing these minor expenditures with him. These small things could lead to bigger things, that could be detrimental to your finances as well as your marriage. It is much easier to sit down and work as a team to come up with a resolution and/or plan than to try to recover after the damage is done. In order for this as with many aspects of marriage to work, there has to be trust and a mutual love and respect for one another. You hurt your spouse, you hurt yourself.