I love my job as a marriage counselor and praise God everyday for being able to do it. One of the downsides of my life’s work is dealing with divorce or pending divorce. Divorce is a destructive force with a root of selfishness and immaturity. Marriage is not about two separate people taking care of their own agendas. It hurts God, it hurts your children ( even adult ones), the family and the church. A bad childhood and bad relationships are not an excuse to treat someone badly. According to various clients justifiable reasons include: boredom, sexual incompatibility, pornography, financial selfishness, missing an ex, emotional affairs I can go on. Everyone of those “reasons” is about selfishness and immaturity. The children affected by this always wonder why can’t adults be nice or considerate like they are told to be. Adults be adult. If you are facing issues in your marriage don’t wait until the last minute to get help, don’t look outside your marriage, don’t start “alternative” lifestyles. Go to a professional, a minister, a mentor couple, a group, something and get help. Pray together about improving your marriage. And when God sends you the help you need, grow up and listen! Stop making things harder than they have to be. Leaving usually does nothing but spread the passion, selfishness and immaturity. Little will change in your new relationship. Why? Because without God and other interventions you are still you and likely to carry the same destruction and insecurity with you.