This is based on an activity in Dr. John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” Love Map is a term he uses for the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about a loved one’s life. It is based on the idea that being familiar with the details of one another’s lives can help you have happier, more stable relationships.

The goal of the exercise is to answer the following questionnaire as the other person would. It’s much more fun and useful if you do it together, with the other person completing a map of your life as you complete a map of his or hers. You may also want to return to this exercise over the course of your relationship. You could do it on your anniversary each year to help you stay up to date with important changes you’re both going through and to maintain a close connection.

31.  happiest life event

32. favorite way to exercise

33. ideal birthday present

34. two worst fears or disaster scenarios

35. best recent day

36. worst recent day

37. two things that make this person very angry

38. current stresses or worries

39. best parts of this person’s current job or school life

40. worst parts of this person’s current job or school life

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Megan, a native of Kansas City, Kansas is an empty nest parent of three adult children Ayanna, Jonathan and Isiah. Megan is a Christian and active in ministry at her church Cornerstone Baptist Church, in Arlington, TX. She is currently a Doctoral student working toward a Ph.D. in Marriage & Family Therapy at Texas Wesleyan University. Her personal interests include independent film, music and marriage enrichment. Megan is the co-founder of the Minority Behavioral Health Provider Networking Group along with colleague Cynthia Thompson.

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