Are you involved in a marriage where you are constantly thinking your spouse may be cheating? If you are, there are several things to look for. I ran across this article on huffingtonpost.com written by Kiri Blakeley (CafeMom’s blog, The Stir). These signs, better known as “red flags,” are normally present if a spouse is cheating. Take a look… better yet, share this with your spouse!
1. He starts dressing better. According to divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, this is still a sign you should look out for. Did he suddenly morph from flannel and dirty boots to smart suits and shiny loafers? I’d add in wearing cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new. Could be a sign the mistress gave him a bottle that she likes better.
2. Guarding the cellphone. This is one I’ve heard a lot in my girlfriend circles — he suddenly starts sleeping with the cellphone by his bedside, or bringing it into the shower with him. He may turn it off when you’re together and say he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s with you — but he really doesn’t want to risk her texting or calling while you’re there. If he won’t even let you touch his phone, something’ up.
3. Password protecting everything. In this day and age, its prudent to password protect your phone, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Or he refuses to give you the password.
4. He takes out new credit cards in his name. According to Stowe, this is a sign that he’s spending money on the new flame — especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only.
5. He begins making hurtful remarks about you. Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy — this way if he ever gets caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting!
6. He begins to drop a female name into his conversations. I’ve heard this one before, that a guy having an affair will start bringing up a certain woman all of the time. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it. I’d also add avoiding talking about a certain woman — say he starts working on a project with a woman but he NEVER mentions her. That’s weird if he’s spending a lot of time with her.
7. Talking about how “ugly” or “horrible” a certain woman is. This is one I’ve seen a few times — a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.
8. He suggests separate holidays. According to Stowe, this is a clear sign he wants you out of town.
9. Doesn’t want sex. He may not reject you, but he’ll go along with your rejections where he may have previously fought them. Now it’s like, “Sure, let’s watch a movie instead. Noooo problem.”
10. Social media. I’m simply amazed at how many men forget that their wife or girlfriend is on their Facebook and yet they will flirt or even “check in” with another woman also on his Facebook. Must think women are blind!