Ardenfrost had this to say about raising daughters:
“It gave me a lot of opinions on what it means to be a man. Being a man isn’t anger, it’s not yelling, it’s not violence, it’s not fighting, it’s not impatience, it’s not acting before thinking. Being a man is making right decisions, it’s doing the right thing, it’s treating people well despite how they treat you, it’s fully assessing a situation, it’s understanding through perception, it’s remaining calm, and it’s doing all these things in the face of adversity. I’m not perfect; I make mistakes. But I do my best to be a good man, because my daughter needs that. She must know what a good man is, so that in what will feel like a few short years, when boys are falling over themselves to talk to her, she’ll know what is good in a man.”
After getting a flood of attention, he added, “I am not telling you how to be a man. I’m telling you how to be an example to your daughter.”
Father’s Day is coming up. Our society, it seems, has a love-hate relationship with fathers. Lately the trend in many ways has been to discount, demean, and diminish the role of fatherhood. While it is true that some dads are “dead beats,” some are abusive, and some are portrayed on sitcoms and commercials as idiots, a good father has infinite value.
A good father teaches his children the dignity of womanhood and the importance of manhood. He is kind and respectful to his wife and his children. He offers support in many ways–emotional, financial, physical. He is not perfect, but he values his role as a father and values his family.
A father’s presence in the lives of his children has a dramatic effect in all areas of their lives: self-esteem, good grades, moral choices, drug use, college attendance, and more. The presence of a GOOD father has effects that cannot be measured, nor underestimated.
Many of us have fathers who were not perfect. My own father both very good in some ways, and not very good in other ways. This was something I had to come to terms with. I went to a counselor for about a year, and now I am able to accept both the good and the bad in my dad and have a good relationship with him.
Some of us struggle to be good fathers (or mothers, in my case) to our children. It’s tough to balance all the important things in our lives and to prioritize little people’s wants with other things we need to do.
I hope that as we think about fathers and fatherhood, we will honor the good things our fathers have done for us, forgive them for their short comings, and re-commit ourselves as parents to our own children.