Changing Notions of Love
Continuing our discussion of Sue Johnson’s text Love Sense, this week we will talk about how the concept of marriage has changed over time. Historically, generally speaking, marriages were made for economic and survival purposes. People fell in love, but they didn’t marry for love. Marriage was to maximize economic status and provide food, shelter, […]
Fixing a Broken Relationship
Last week I wrote about why love dies, according psychologist, clinician, and researcher Dr. Sue Johnson. This week I will discuss how to fix that broken relationship. Of course, this is short and incomplete synopsis of her work. Read the full version in Johnson’s books “Hold Me Tight” and “Love Sense.” Therapists that use Emotion […]
Should We Share Bank Accounts?
Over the years I have counseled numerous couples. One of the most interesting but not shocking things that I have learned is the lack of trust in each other when it comes to money. Many of these couples claim to have an undying love for each other. I don’t doubt it, for the most part, […]
I Had a Secret
What’s the hardest thing you have ever done? For me the answer is simple… it was a conversation I had with my wife. About 5 dates into our relationship we were already both very confident that we would marry each other. Because of this I mentioned on that particular date that I want for us […]
Can You Handle the TRUTH???
I remember watching a very well known movie called the Best Man. This movie had a follow up episode about 13 years later. The plot of the movie was dealing with “things of the past.” The groom found out right before his wedding that his best man and wife to be, had a sexual encounter […]
Many couples fight over money. However, money issues aren’t usually actually about money. They are about what money REPRESENTS to each partner. Money could represent security, freedom, status, achievement, personal worth, pride, respect, fun, or many other things. Next time you are fighting about money, ask your self and your partner, what does MEAN to […]
Marriage and Boundaries
Is it okay to have friends of the opposite sex when you are married? Is it okay to keep secrets from your spouse? Is it okay view pornography when you’re married? Is it okay to be facebook friends with your ex? There is not a one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. Each relationship has its own […]