Planned Spontaneity in Marital Sex

Couple IntimacyMarriage Makeover Tip:

Keep the sex in your marriage fun. Always keep a good balance of predictability and mystery.  Thus the phrase planned spontaneity.  Just because you may have to plan sex does not mean it has to be routine. Planning the time means it is important enough to make it happen. Many couples I see have no idea how they got to the point of having sex five times per year.

Some ideas:

Meet as “strangers” at a hotel bar. Have a conversation and “get to know” each other. And leave with the “stranger” you meet to go to your room (that you already had) and have great sex.

Have sex all over your house. Take away the routine of only having sex in only the bedroom.  If you have kids get a sitter or trade off with a friend so you can have time alone.

Do some foreplay with each other, be romantic. Build up to the experience don’t have the same routine.

What do you think, did I miss anything? I would love to hear your comments, questions or thoughts.

 

 

 

Husbands, Build Your Wife’s Self Esteem

woman ignoredMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

E – Esteem

Love her above all others.  Know what is significant to her, even if it’s not a big deal to you.

1 Peter 3:7

How To Do This: Support her verbally, especially around the kids, praise her for what she does, value her opinions even when they are different from yours.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Does my wife feel treasured?  Do I take my wife’s efforts with me and kids for granted? Do I remember that birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, etc. are important or do I get busy and forget?

Previous: L – Loyalty – Show Your Wife Loyalty

Husbands, Show Your Wife Loyalty

woman ignored

Marriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

L – Loyalty

Be completely committed to her, offer her reassurance when she needs it not information.

Malachi 2:14

How To Do This: Don’t ogle other women (in her presence or out); talk to her positively; never bring up divorce.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Do I save my admiration of women to my wife alone? Is she sure I’m a one woman man?

Next: Husbands, Build Your Wife’s Self Esteem

Previous: P – Peacemaking – Practice Peacemaking

Husbands, Practice Peacemaking With Your Wife

apologizing to wifeMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

P – Peacemaking

Resolve issues and makeup when you have conflicts, don’t hold grudges or teach them a lesson.

Matthew 19:5

How To Do This: Say you are sorry when you are wrong; accept apologies when you get them.

Questions to Ask Yourself: When my wife tells me she is hurt or angry, do I easily admit I’m wrong, or do I get defensive, and express hurt and anger myself?  Do I understand how apologizing makes her feel more connected and valued with me?  Do I avoid discussing issues by saying, “Let’s drop it, or you need to move on?”

Next: L – Loyalty – Husbands, Show Your Wife Loyalty

Previous: U – Understanding – Husbands Offer Your Wife Understanding

Husbands, Offer Your Wife Understanding

consolling wifeMarriage Makeover Moment:

I am continuing my exploration of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym developed by Emmerson Eggerichs to help husbands remember what God calls them to do.  You can read the total acronym on my first blog on this topic 6 Ways Husbands Can Love Their Wives.  In each post I’ll list the detailed info related to each letter of the acronym along with the scripture that backs it up.  Don’t worry guys I will follow up with 6 Ways Wives Can Respect Their Husbands.

Today’s letter is:

U – Understanding

Empathize and listen.  Don’t focus only on fixing things.

1 Peter 3:7

How To Do This: Listen, know when to give advice and when not to solve problems; repeat what she says to show you are listening.

Questions to Ask Yourself: Do I understand that talking is as important to my wife as sex is to me? Do I listen and let her talk or do I try to “fix” her or what is wrong when she doesn’t want me to? Do I see that “just talking” is the key to making her feel understood?

Next: P – Peacemaking – Husbands, Practice Peacemaking With Your Wife

Previous: O – Openness – Husbands, Be Open With Your Wife