3 Types of Rituals in Marriage

Rituals in marriage are the things that happen often, are planned together and special mostly to you and your spouse.  Read the Rituals in Marriage post in this series to get more details.

Almost anything can be turned into a ritual of connection, if the focus is on the relationship.  If just one person likes to call and the other person says, “Yep, yep, busy, busy, I’ll talk to you later,” this is not a ritual, because it is not coordinated–and it’s probably not emotionally significant either.

Here are the 4 types of rituals:

  1. Connection rituals – Connection rituals happen on a regular, usually daily basis.  An example is kissing each other every morning before the couple leaves for work.
  2. Intimacy rituals – take place during special dates you plan to connect with each other, sexual intimacy and special occasion rituals like anniversaries.
  3. Community rituals – take place in the wider community.  An example would be a couple who works side by side in their church’s marriage ministry as a way of connection.

Rituals are often looked over when trying to improve marriages, but they are usually what brought a couple together and the glue that keeps them connected.

What are the rituals in your marriage or relationship?  Telling us about them may help other couples searching for ways to connect.  Here are the guidelines:

    1. List one ritual for each response (feel free to submit more than once!)
    2. Why you do it, how it started, how long you’ve been doing it and any obstacles and backup plans for doing it if you miss it.

Next post: Talk Rituals: The Most Important Marriage Ritual of All

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